Monday, December 24, 2012

Dear Santa 2012

Dear Santa,
Sorry I’m getting you this letter a bit late, but here it goes.  Every year I ask for different presents and things I would like to see under my tree.  You have done an amazing job: From the Dulet Toaster, to cute designer jeans and a to-die-for Michael Kors handbag.  Your shopping skills are top notch (just like my fabulous sister!)  
I even wrote to you and asked for a boyfriend…and while he wasn’t under my Christmas tree, he did arrive at the perfect time.  And last year, I asked for some date-able men for my friends …and whether they want to believe it or not…each and every one of them got some cuddling in 2012…so I think that was to some extent, successful.
This year my request is a bit more humbling I’m afraid. 
My Barista (kidding!)
I’d just like to pay it forward.  Something like the #26Acts.  Literally this morning, I ran some errands, one of which was cashing my paycheck…and with the cash I took out, I paid for a line of drinks at Starbucks.  Felt good.  Almost like the best Christmas present I didn’t actually get.  What’s that old saying?  It’s better to give than receive?  There could be no truer words.  So I guess I’m asking you to spread the word…tell people to participate in random acts of kindness.  (Something I wish I did more of.)
During this odd holiday season when our country was delivered a devastating blow so close to the holidays, make you sit back and realize how much we have to be grateful for.  I have a wonderful family, an awesome boyfriend, cuddly pets, amazing friendships, and food and treasures in abundance.  So much to be thankful for. 
Now I’m not going to lie, of course I purchased many gifts to give out this holiday season to my loved ones (including my publisher), but even if I got a dead rat in my stocking…I’d be just fine.
My heart is full of love.
Let’s all try and make it a Merry Christmas!  See you bright and early.


Friday, December 14, 2012

Girl's Weekends

You know when you have guy trouble and you just need a good girlfriend to get you through it?  I hear you, loud and clear.

Let me tell you…once upon a time, I wanted (with my girlfriends) to write a book called “A Girlfriends Guide to Getting Away” – which was all about “girl’s weekends”.  It was a “how-to guide” on how to throw the ultimate getaway to release from your life and let your hair down with the gals who know you best.  Ultimately with four writers on board…we never got to publishing it and had many different directions.  But here are a few things I learned along the way:

1)      You do not need a gaggle of besties to make a Girl’s Weekend. 

2)      You CAN get away with ONE good girlfriend who needs you.

3)      If inviting a group: make sure everyone knows each other.  (Awkward times abound if you do not.)

4)      This is not about a YOU weekend…it’s about sharing.  You do not need to be the center of attention.

It is no secret I’m in a relationship, but I have many friends who are not.  Recently, a girlfriend who is experiencing a difficult break-up needed me.  As I tried to explain it to my BF, “I need to be there for my girlfriend” – he sort of understood as I left him at the drop of a hat to be by her side (which is another quality I love about him). But honestly, she knows I was swamped (holidays!) and was busy (deadlines!)…but ultimately…it gave me a couple days (peace), and I’m there for my friends.  

Now I should tell you…my girlfriend in need was at a work retreat at a fabulous Spa an hour away from my home.  This sounded totally awesome to my boring ho-hum life.  So between tequila tasting, spa treatments, and exquisite dinners…I was there to listen, give advice, and well, be a friend. (And did I mention this retreat was AWESOME!)

So, I arrived 10 minutes before my friend needed to jump into a mixer (um, zero girl time); then had 5 minutes before our tequila tasting, before our fab dinner in their ultra-hip bar before I could….whew…put on my bathing suit in our private hot tub to say “WFT” is going on???

All in all, I got the scoop.  Put my life on hold and was there for my friend. 

The point is: Girl’s weekends are a must. Sometimes we need help. Sometimes we yell out and seek our friends to bail us throw the tough times.  Everyone needs a break from time to time.  Cherish your friendships….and it’s awesome to have your girlfriend’s help you get through even the most difficult time.

Life can be busy and inconvenient but friendships last can forever.  Listen and always be a friend…it will always be a reward.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sexy Halloween

Halloween is the one day out of the year when we all get to dress up and look like utter fools doing normal activities.  As I write this blog, I’m sitting here in my “Heidi” costume wearing a low cut sort of “beer wench” outfit and have been asked what restaurant I work at. 

But when I first got dressed this morning, and revealed my outfit for my boyfriend .  He did a double take…he sure loves a costume.   

What is it about costumes that get men aroused? 

Ask any man, and their eyes will light up when they talk about their favorite costumes.  I talked with a couple of male colleagues and their general consensus was that they like it when women dress up like superheroes.  Really, they want me to dress in some Linda Carter Wonder Woman briefs, with gold cuffs and high lace up boots?    

So I asked my boyfriend, what day did you know that I was the one for you? His answer: “The day I came up to visit you and you had on your kitty cat outfit.”  Ah yes, the sexy kitten costume, another male favorite.  That’s always a good one but is it me, or is every costume some sort of “sexy” something?  And do men really need costumes to get going?

Head to any costume shop and you’ll find the sexy superhero, sexy witch, sexy Dorothy, sexy Little Red Riding Hood, sexy nurse, sexy pirate and the list goes on and on.  Apparently, yes…guys want to see their girls in low cut inapproatriate office attire, and if it’s one day out of the year…fine.

Honestly, I used to not dress up.  Or if I did dress up, I’d make my own, non-sexy costume.  In fact, I once went out with a bunch of friends as a group on the Titanic.  We had Jack and Rose, Unsinkable Molly Brown…and me…as the Titanic ship and I even had an iceberg made of Styrofoam. We were the hit of every party. 

Sexy?  No. Funny, yes!  But, it did not get me a date.

So I‘ve learned a few things over the years.  Men like costumes. Sexy costumes.  That is why they are so abundantly available at every costume stores.  So if that’s your intension this Halloween…put on your inner sex kitten and hit the town.  Or you can always go down as the Titanic. 

Nonetheless, I like to dress up, do a little role play for my BF.  So if those costume shops start having a sale tomorrow…I might pick up a small stockpile.  Right now, this Heidi-Bar-maid-wench needs to abide auf wiedersehen and head out to do some trick or treating.  

Have a fun and safe Halloween.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Dump Time

I know, I know….there are two questions on everyone’s mind.

1) When is your book coming out?

2) Why aren’t you blogging?


1) Not sure. Every publisher goes on vacation for the summer and I’ve been out of the loop. But I’m working on that answer soon!

2) Um, its summer and I’ve been lazy in the blog-o-sphere…been trying to finish two scripts and two books. Not to mention, working on a TV show, currently living with my boyfriend (insert, doing his laundry and general clean-up of a guy).

But here I am…ready to chat about dating, relationships and reality shows. First of all…reality shows. Let me just say, I’m a fan of Emily and Jef (with one f), I’m obsessed with “Miss Advised” (great casting -- those girls are all train wrecks), and for my friend (and former guy I dated Troy)…dude…what’s up with your show “Basketball Wives” and Evelyn and Chad? My TV viewing has seriously been in overdrive this summer…but as with most of us, back to school time usually means, back to work. (and back to the mall for new clothes, but I digress).

Okay, down to business. Let’s discuss dating. I have heard from many of you. Thanks for the emails…keep’em coming.

Recently a reader *Claire wrote to me for a little dating intervention. Her plea was simple. She’s been living with her boyfriend, and knows in her heart of heart he’s not “the one” but refuses to break up with him because that’s a lot of work. Claire has been dating her boyfriend Terence for just over two years. They moved in together after only knowing each other for two months. At first it was great. The money she was saving was fantastic and well, it was fun with her younger boy toy. But over the months, Terence has been driving her nuts, and now they are just two passing ships in the night. Claire last relationship was long term and she knows she doesn’t want to marry Terence. And she wouldn’t mind being a lone for a while, but she’s too lazy to actually break up with him. She laments to me that he’s a nice guy…but she’s just not in love with him.

Sound familiar?

Claire is already resenting Terence and it’s not getting any better. Honestly Claire, you sound a bit lazy (that’s ok…because you see, I’ve been lazy all summer). But here’s the thing -- Why can't you break up and be roommates…Why drag it on and pretend you are in a relationship?

I hear you responding already: “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Look…for all the men I’ve dated out there, when they told me “It’s just not there” and dumped me. I was totally grateful for their honesty.  While I might have shed a few initial tears, trust me when I tell you I was happy it didn’t drag on.

Claire, it’s time to live alone. (You said it you've never lived alone and that you've always had a man in your life.) See what it’s like. You might hate it and miss Terence. You might find someone completely new and better than him too. Right now, you are stuck in a rut. Move on girlfriend. And buy that pink couch and be all girlie for once...because you can.

Be proactive. He wants your honest answer, not this “not knowing and passing ship” scenario you’ve created.

If you need space and have never allowed yourself space, aren’t you going to be upset and mad at him if you’ve never given yourself space?

It’s time to be truthful with him, tell him he’s not “the one” and go from there. You might be much happier being friends and or roommates.

But, right now, I need to fold my honey's laundry.

*Names have been changed.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Geek Love

Every year I make a list of what I want in a man.  I write it down, put it into the universe and hope that someday, this imaginary man will float into my life. 

One item that has remained on my list (since I started making lists) was I wanted someone who enjoyed to play board games.  Hear me out on this… my sister and I have been Scrabble addicts for quite some time.  There isn’t a day when I’m not far away from a Scrabble board or Bananagrams (another fav).  For me, these word games are challenging and good exercise for the brain.  My sister and I have carted our games pretty much anywhere (Irish bars, cruise ships, coffee shops, and mom’s house to name a few.)

When I started dating my boyfriend, I was pleased to learn… he was an avid gamer too.  Some of our first “dates” were playing Cribbage over our cellphones while chatting via Skype.  Sure it was a bit dorky, but it kept us on the “phone” and he was learning I wasn’t just some dumb blonde.

Then, back in February, my boyfriend took our “gaming” dates to a new level and he dragged me to a Gaming Convention (Stategicon).  Now, I know what you are thinking.  That’s pretty dorky.  Sure the hotel ballroom was crawling with self-professed geeks, dorks, social outcasts, weirdos in costumes, and D&D enthusiasts.  I will not lie; BUT, so there were also TONS of what looked like “socially normal” men.  (FYI – The ratio of men to women was about 20-1 odds…Sweet.)

As I walked through the halls of the Gaming Convention and I saw signs like “Role Players”; “Miniatures” and “RPGs” – I was acutely aware I was not in Hollywood anymore; I was in geek heaven and in my own episode of “The Big Bang Theory”. 

Now, I will note: I was also on a mission.  I was there to learn about this subculture and interview individuals as part of a local TV show I was producing for an upcoming segment.  While I interviewed these gamers, I grew to like them even more.  They didn’t care that people thought they were different; they embraced their passion.

Here’s some other tidbits I learned about gamers…Game playing: improves math skills, utilizes your imagination, helps you solve problems (and figure out mysteries better), keeps you social with like-minded players…and bottom line….it’s FUN.  As a writer and all around creative type, while I hate math, I love strategy and solving mysteries.  These people got me and I got them.

I learned about LARPers (Live-Action Role Players) and GURPS (Generic Universal Role Playing System)…while I wasn’t about to don a costume, these “players” knew their stuff about characters and problem solving better then some of my favorite writers. These “players” were actually writing their own games, on the spot and diving into characterization.  It was like novels coming to life. I found this revelation bizarre yet fun at the same time! 

Bottom line, it was an eye opening adventure.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and embraced a whole new level of games and the gaming society.  They taught me not to judge the differences but embrace them.  Be free to play games and step into fantasy.  After all, I’ve fallen in love with a gamer and that’s exactly what I always wanted.  

Monday, May 14, 2012

Casting Call

I received this email (in an email chain) and thought I'd pass it along.  I will let you know, that I think dating on TV is RIDICULOUS...but hey, if traditional pathes aren't working for you.  Go for it. - HC


We are searching NATIONWIDE for single women 21-50 years of age, all ethnicities, who are dynamic, outgoing and DETERMINED to find Mr. Right and get MARRIED for a new TV show for a major cable network.

* Are you ready to find Mr. Right and get married?
* Do you want to get married so much you can already picture your wedding day in your head?
* Maybe you're even planning it already, but just need Mr. Right to make it all complete?

If you're determined to find the right guy and start your life together, we want to hear from you!

There is pay if you are selected to be on the show, and we may even contribute to the cost of your wedding!

Filming will be minimal and accomodating to your schedule, and will be completely non-invasive.

If you want to be on this new docu-series about modern-day women in their pursuit of true love, contact us now!

Be sure to mention you heard about this from Jeff Gund at for priority consideration, and email ALL the information requested below ASAP to:
Be sure to include:
1. Your name (first and last)
2. Age
3. Contact phone number
4. City/State where you live
5. A brief paragraph about yourself, and why you're ready to get married
6. Two recent photos (jpg format please)
7. Be sure to mention you heard about this from Jeff Gund at for priority consideration!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mr. Perfect

You watch TV shows and movies that showcase happy couples, you read about celebrity relationships with envy, and you see how perfect their lives all must seem.  Baloney.  I am convinced, Mr. Perfect does not exist.  I have seen husbands make breakfast, boyfriends lovingly purchasing flowers for no reason, and soul mates displaying mounds of PDA…but underneath it all, there is always a flaw. 

No one is that perfect.    
Recently I was gushing to my sister about my boyfriend and I uttered the phrase, “I’m so lucky to have found him, he’s perfect.” 

My sister’s response, “You’re kidding, right?”
I know what she was thinking.  Sure, he’s not model gorgeous, of course he has his flaws (um, he likes to play lots of video games…which can be annoying when you want him to take out the trash.)   But what I do know is that he loves me and has enriched my life.  Sure we aren’t the perfect couple; of course we’ve had arguments.  He has flaws, and bytheway, so do I.

His most frequent flaws include (but not limited): lazy, passive aggressive, fatalistic, and penny-pincher.
My flaws (according to him): argumentative, stubborn (“my way or the highway” attitude), impatient, and unrealistic (I’m a romance writer…duh.)

Basically, I can’t change him, and he can’t change me…and we argue about these flaws all the time.  When we boil over and have the all out fight…we ultimately know we can’t change one another and have to reach our settling point in who we are as humans.  We can try to be better for each other, but we ultimately have to accept each others flaws.
For years I suffered from the, “I can do better” syndrome.  Always keeping one eye open looking for Mr. Perfect.  I finally realized I will look forever and ever and I have to accept a few flaws in a mate because I myself am not perfect. 

Listen, most of my girlfriends love my boyfriend and think we are two peas in a pod and act like we’ve known each other for years.  I always remind them he’s on good behavior in front of them, but in all honesty we are two adults who actually talk things out and communicate vs. having unrealistic expectations.
He's pretty close to Mr. Perfect.
A couple years ago, I devoured a book by Lori Gottlieb “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” and at first I was appalled.  I put on my princess panties and shouted out…I will never ever settle.   But I look back now, and I think no one is really that perfect.  We have to meet in the middle somewhere.

Of course I can dream about Mr. Perfect and at times, my boyfriend really is perfect.  He loves to wake me up in the morning and make me breakfast, brings me the paper from the driveway, and gives me little back rubs when I’m sitting on the couch after a long day.  But I will not forget, he is an occasional snorer, will wear his “Cthulhu Rocks” t-shirt around the house, and loudly yells at the TV while watching soccer games at 6am.  Sometimes those flaws can be deemed cute, and other times annoying, but what I do know, is he loves me and for that, he’s my Mr. Perfect.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Getting over HIM

Everyone has a break-up story and everyone eventually moves on from it, but how long that takes for each person varies. Whether you were dating for two weeks, two months, a year, or twenty years…a break up is just that….a heart has been broken and needs a repair.

Let’s see…There was:

·        The guy I longed for in High School who didn’t give a crap about me.  Got over him pretty quickly. 

·        The “lost my virginity” to guy.  Got over him after he cheated on me. 

·        There was the on again-off again boyfriend with whom I dated most of my 20’s.  He still has some lingering effects. 

·        The office crush with whom I couldn’t date otherwise we’d both lose our jobs, but secretly we longed for each other. (Yeah, that was a waste of a year.)

·        And the long list of other dates that lasted weeks, months, and years which were other time wasters and I ignored huge signs.

But how does one mend a broken heart?   

Of course my best remedy has always been…call your girlfriends (or if you have a sister) and DISH.  Get it off your chest.  Vent about how good you were for him, and the total loser-ness he REALLY is.  Lay it on the line…cry your heart out.  All of your girl friends have been there.

Next, do NOT call him.  Ever.  Don’t think about picking up the phone.  Sending a text. Sending an email. No communication whatsoever. Opposite of Nike: Just DON’T do it.  He will think you are pathetic and pining over him …still.  And here’s the reality check, you are.  Don’t fall into this trap.  It’s hard to not call, but you will be better appreciated when you meet someone who cares about you. 

So that leads us to the next step.  Go OUT.  Flirt.  Meet random people.  Update that bio on a dating site.  Do anything but sit alone in your home waiting for a miracle to happen. It won’t…and your mind will drive you crazy wanting to reach out to him and give him another try.  Here’s a little tale: I was dating this great guy last year.  I really liked him and I thought he really liked me.  We were having lots of great dates and fantastic conversations and I thought…wow, I’ve found the one.  Then Bam…he dumps me.  Via a text message.  (I know…total jerk.)  So I didn’t wallow in my sorrow.  I called some girlfriends, started going out with them, met a couple great guys and started dating shortly after “text-dumper” pretty fast.  Of course I was comparing my next dates to him, and they didn’t really measure up to “text-dumper” – but the point I’m trying to point out is…I didn’t sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. 

Other great menders for a broken heart…Chocolate; Good Book; Spa Day (or a good mani/pedi); Chick Flicks; Oprah re-runs and any book by Marianne Williamson (Queen of female empowerment).

We’ve all been there…and yes, you can do better. Trust me.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Last Spinster

I am currently in a quaint village on the outskirts of Stuttgart Germany. Light rain is falling outside and I am sitting by the window with a steaming cup of coffee with warm milk watching the drops slowly descend from the sky and fall to the gray pavement below keeping cozy watch. I look out and see the rows of gnarled grape vines with green buds starting to spring from the vines signaling, it’s Springtime in this quaint German village. My mother slightly snores from the adjoining room, as I sit and reflect on the years she has owned this house -- the last vestibule of her heritage. Her family having owned a house in this village since the 12th century. Winemakers, most of them. (And most of them are buried at the cemetery across the street.)

Bells ring every fifteen minutes here, signaling the hour, quarter past, half past and three quarters past. You get quite used to the ringing of the automatic clocks in this town and I soon realize it’s no wonder Germans invented the cuckoo clock.

But the real reason I’m here is because my mother has sold the house. Tomorrow the new owners take residence and it will leave our family for good. It’s sort of a closure on my mom’s part. It’s not inexpensive to own and maintain a house in Europe that she only visits once every two years. Not to mention, the house is over a hundred years old (and there are all sorts of signs bearing its age). The last relative who owned this house was her Aunt Elfriede, her father’s youngest sister. Elfriede was a spinster, meaning, she was a woman who never married. I met Elfriede once, circa 1985 on my first European trip.

I had never heard the term spinster before I came to Germany. I’m not sure where the term originated from, did single women spin spools of wool? But I do have a girlfriend of mine who was part of a social circle in Southern California called “The Bachelor’s and The Spinster’s” which was an elite group who attended meetings in efforts to pair off. I always thought it was quite odd and old fashioned. Not to mention that “Bachelor” sounds much nicer than “Spinster”. Who would outwardly join this group and stamp themselves “never married”?

But my Great Aunt was a spinster. And I don’t think it bothered her, like it bothers me. Maybe she was onto something. She did have a lover (who is even buried with her across the street). Over the years, my sister and I have combed through photographs, letters, and old relics and have pieced together and romantically fantasized about their love affair. (We’re working on a book/movie about their love story, actually). I’m sure it was quite the scandal back in her day. I kind of relish her vigor to not be pressured to marry. But is this status still taboo?

My Great Aunt lived alone in this three story house, until she met her love, Ludwig. He eventually moved into the house, but held a separate residence on the third floor. Under the same roof, but separate. They had meals together, kept each other company and had their own space. They travelled quite a bit together, and honestly kept each other company during cold, rainy Sundays (like today).

Elfriede was a pharmacist who didn’t travel much until she met Ludwig. He made her come alive. She wasn’t alone, she had a companion. He was also quite attractive, and she was, how do I state this? She was not. Short, round, kinky mop of hair, as compared to his tall, lean and handsome face, but Elfriede had a smile that beamed in his presence.

We will never know the real reasons why Ludwig never married Elfriede. Those conversations will be trapped within the walls of this house forever, but she held fast in her glory, that a spinster was not a boring woman.

The German Village among the grape vines.

And as I sit here in this house, and I am “never married”. I guess you could say, I’m the last spinster of this house as well.

I’m not sure I want that title but it is what it is.

It’s finally stopped raining outside and I hear my mother, toss and turn about to wake up. Today we will finish packing the last of the boxes, and I will hike the stairs around the vines, and maybe I’ll visit Elfriede and Ludwig’s gravesite. And maybe she’ll give me some advice on keeping a lover and I will keep my eye open for a house with a third floor to keep him in.

The bench I imagine Elfriede and Ludwig having date at.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Going the Distance

I have a friend who hasn’t been all that successful in her online dating quest.  As she teeters on the “give-up moment” I told her she should widen her search.  Date out of the area if you will.

“I don’t want to drive that far,” was her simple response.  

You’re kidding, right?

Here’s the deal, I lived in a beautiful, yet far location, just north of Los Angeles.  I moved there because I was working in Malibu (which is beautiful but far from Los Angeles, too.)  I dated men from Santa Barbara to San Diego…and put in my profile, “I don’t mind driving.”  While gas prices soar, yes, it’s a bit harder on the wallet, but my search was successful.  Why narrow your options? 

While Los Angeles is crawling with men, sometimes it’s refreshing to get out of “the norm” and find someone who is completely different from you.  If you’ve had your fair share of men in “your area”…branch out and see what else is out there.  What do you have to lose? (This also applies to New Yorkers who just can’t seem to get off their island.)

It is no secret I’ve been dating someone.  We are complete opposites, not to mention, lived on opposite ends of town.  When we met, I was living a THREE hour drive from him (and that’s without traffic).  We did all the communications routes: called, texted, skyped, emailed until we finally met face-to-face.  I knew so much about him when we met in person, it was as if we were already dating.  Living far away from each other gave us a chance to plan our dates, make our face-to-face dates special occasions which turned into weekend long visits and well…absence does make the heart grow fonder.  It took him a whopping three months before he asked me to move in with him.  And you know what…I eventually moved.  (I wanted to anyway…bad juju living close to my prior job was annoying me.)  Now I know this is an extreme case of odd things working out, but what if I never agreed to go out with him because he lived so far away?  Wouldn’t that have been a crime too?

I have heard stories of men who drive to far away locations to meet women and women who drive long distances to meet men…and they turn out horrible and they feel trapped.  First, I’m not advocating you stay at their place or move right away.  I’m merely suggesting you give them a try and not be so narrow minded in your quest.  Now, it also helped that my boyfriend was living in an area I actually wanted to move to.  I will admit, I wasn’t really interested in going to say Bakersfield (sorry Bakersfield…it’s too hot for me), and I definitely had some “winking” men from the Inland Empire – those weren’t necessarily cities I wanted to move to.  

One thing I did discover was once I said “yes” to moving, he was also open into the idea of us getting a place together so I didn’t feel like I was moving into his place or vice versa.  Many friends and family were leery of my move “it’s too soon,” “you own your place, why doesn’t he move to you?” etc etc…The simple thing is, we were far apart, and now we are under the same roof.  Happy and making it all work out.

And before you give me any “but, but, but…” my boyfriend said he would have never have made communication with me in our dating process because I lived too far.  That’s right…I approached him.  I was willing to move.  I was willing to drive.  I was willing to try new things.

So take this sage advice.  Widen the net. Cause I’m not home alone with my two cats anymore.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Oscar Glamour

I was not disappointed by the Oscar glamour last night.  The dresses were divine.  My favs were Penelope Cruz in Armani Privé, Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton, Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen, Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli and Stacy Keibler in Marchesa.  You ladies looked fabulous.

Of course, if I had to criticize the show, it was a bit long and there were too many comedy bits. (It’s an award show just hand out the awards please.)  But then again, I was pretty much glued to my TV -- I’m not going to lie.  In years past, I’ve dressed to the 9’s and put on costume jewels (thanks to my friend Neil Zevnik); I’ve placed bet with co-workers on winners (and have a few wins under my belt); and I’ve been to large viewing parties with way too many people talking during the speeches (annoying!)  This year, I was home solo, folding laundry, and tweeting with my bestie.  It was perfect.  

Bob is wearing the head set.  Ha!
But probably my favorite moments of Oscar night every year are watching the Red Carpet and looking for my ex boyfriend Bob.  (I think this might have been Bob’s  20th year on the carpet.)  When Tom Hanks gave a shout out to the seat filler, I nearly busted a gut because Bob always mugs for the camera.  This year, Bob did not disappoint.  While watching E! they paused on two images with Bob’s face landing right behind ladies giving their stance for the cameras.  One was Octavia Spencer; and the other was Ellie Kemper.  My bestie and I laughed, the stills of Bob were not that flattering. But, Bob…you always make the Red Carpet fun to watch. 

And while I have never been on the famed Red Carpet for the awards show, its watching Bob, voting with my friends, dreaming of my own Oscar speech (stop laughing…it could happen) and not having to “work” on Oscar Sunday ever again…that gives me the most joy. 

And when Meryl won for Best Actress…well that made me the official “winner” of my ballot votes.  Congrats to all the Winners.  See you on your next Red Carpet (and say Hi to Bob for me.)


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day – Or Not

Last year I bitched and moaned about the guy I thought I was dating, who was too chicken shit to give me a card.  This year…I got breakfast in bed. What a difference a year makes.  Someone actually appreciates me. Wow.

My boyfriend and I didn’t really want to go out and buy each other cheesy gifts, so we came to a compromise…we took the day off and went to watch the LA Galaxy soccer team play a practice game. (My BF loves soccer.)

Now the only thing better than watching the Superbowl for me, was watching David Beckham’s H&M underwear commercial in slow motion (multiple times).  So my gift to all of my readers is…well…here’s the pics I took this morning.

Happy Valentine’s Day.  (And thank you Victoria for not showing up with your four beautiful children.)


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Sex-Texter

Have you ever dated a Sex-texter?  You know, the guy who likes to only send you dirty messages?  (And I’m not talking about dirty pictures…just words…in a text.)  
I’ve been down the path with several sex-texters in my dating life…and at first I was turned off.  (Scary, creepy, pervert, yucky.)  But what I’ve learned is…most guys like a little sex-texting.  (Stay with me here.)
Usually I’ve preferred my written sex text in a romance novel.  The build up, the pages and pages of throbbing body parts, the tension, the pressure, the trembling feeling they had never had before.  It’s all just fantastic to read before bedtime.
My girls in my book club suggested I read a historical romance called  The Captain of All Pleasuresfor the pinnacle of romance writing…and well…swashbuckling cheesiness aside…it was a fun read.  (Especially when I would read passages aloud to my boyfriend in bed).  I would giggle as I read the bodice ripper and he’d roll his eyes at me thinking I enjoyed the drama of it all.    (I’m currently devouring  Fifty Shades of Grey…um… love it.)
Which brings me back to sex-texting.  I’ve never thought it was that sexy. 
Now that I’ve been living with my boyfriend for awhile, I’ve learned…he thinks about sex quite a lot.  And as a woman, I personally… don’t.  Women like the drama.  If we want it, we seek it out, but if not in the mood, we can roll over, fall asleep…or rather pretend to be asleep.  
But when I boiled it down…my boyfriend doesn’t want five pages of drawn out sex talk…he wants two lines of sex-texting.
I polled my friends and I got every answer:
“Serial killer”
“How long have you known him?”
So I ask: Is sex-texting a turn on or a turn off? Afterall, there are two people doing the sex-texting…. It’s not just him.  I participate too…and if I’m having weird feelings, does he have them about me too? Am I slutty for sex texting?
I was somewhat reluctant to talk to my sister about this topic.  Was I actually embarrassed?  But is it normal to “sex-text” your man?
Her response was priceless: “All guys need a little sex-texting.”
She was curt and to the point. He wasn’t a serial killer, he wasn’t a pervert, he was a guy…and “guys like to talk about sex and don’t want a timid shy girl they have to talk into sex every time they are ready…and let’s face facts, guys are pretty ready all the time.” 
Really?  It’s not weird?  “Not at all.” – Eureka.  My sister had been sex-texting with her man too. Whew.  I wasn’t the only one!
My sister protected sex-texting men stating, “He’s just trying to see if she’ll be the type of girl who will have sex with him down the line.  Sex-texters are not weird, they’re  guys.”
My girlfriends weren’t so convinced.  “….this totally creeps out,” was the generic response. 
So my unscientific bottom line: If you are the type of person who is not comfortable with their sexuality and sensual self.  Well…then sex-texting is going to be an issue.  There needs to be a balance.  If you are afraid/timid to talk about sex, then sex-texting is not for you.  Sometimes it might be too pre-mature to jump into the sex-texting with a guy you’ve only known for a short while, but ultimately you have to feel comfortable with men to sex-text with them.  Personally, I found my first Sex-texter generally normal and well…dare I say, sexy.  So why not see if he’ll be a good partner down the line by a little pre-sex-texting session?  And think to yourself, do you want a timid lover?