Getting over HIM

Everyone has a break-up story and everyone eventually moves on from it, but how long that takes for each person varies. Whether you were dating for two weeks, two months, a year, or twenty years…a break up is just that….a heart has been broken and needs a repair.

Let’s see…There was:

·        The guy I longed for in High School who didn’t give a crap about me.  Got over him pretty quickly. 

·        The “lost my virginity” to guy.  Got over him after he cheated on me. 

·        There was the on again-off again boyfriend with whom I dated most of my 20’s.  He still has some lingering effects. 

·        The office crush with whom I couldn’t date otherwise we’d both lose our jobs, but secretly we longed for each other. (Yeah, that was a waste of a year.)

·        And the long list of other dates that lasted weeks, months, and years which were other time wasters and I ignored huge signs.

But how does one mend a broken heart?   

Of course my best remedy has always been…call your girlfriends (or if you have a sister) and DISH.  Get it off your chest.  Vent about how good you were for him, and the total loser-ness he REALLY is.  Lay it on the line…cry your heart out.  All of your girl friends have been there.

Next, do NOT call him.  Ever.  Don’t think about picking up the phone.  Sending a text. Sending an email. No communication whatsoever. Opposite of Nike: Just DON’T do it.  He will think you are pathetic and pining over him …still.  And here’s the reality check, you are.  Don’t fall into this trap.  It’s hard to not call, but you will be better appreciated when you meet someone who cares about you. 

So that leads us to the next step.  Go OUT.  Flirt.  Meet random people.  Update that bio on a dating site.  Do anything but sit alone in your home waiting for a miracle to happen. It won’t…and your mind will drive you crazy wanting to reach out to him and give him another try.  Here’s a little tale: I was dating this great guy last year.  I really liked him and I thought he really liked me.  We were having lots of great dates and fantastic conversations and I thought…wow, I’ve found the one.  Then Bam…he dumps me.  Via a text message.  (I know…total jerk.)  So I didn’t wallow in my sorrow.  I called some girlfriends, started going out with them, met a couple great guys and started dating shortly after “text-dumper” pretty fast.  Of course I was comparing my next dates to him, and they didn’t really measure up to “text-dumper” – but the point I’m trying to point out is…I didn’t sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. 

Other great menders for a broken heart…Chocolate; Good Book; Spa Day (or a good mani/pedi); Chick Flicks; Oprah re-runs and any book by Marianne Williamson (Queen of female empowerment).

We’ve all been there…and yes, you can do better. Trust me.