Pop of Color

I have heard New York women complain that there are no men to date anywhere. And I think I figured it out. They are all wearing black.

Ladies, you need to introduce a pop of color. Guys like it. From straights to gays, you ask a guy what you are wearing they will notice the colored item. Now, I also know that about 5% of the male population is color blind…so this might not work on all guys, but take my word and start adding color into your wardrobe.

How did I come upon this new revelation? I recently had a photo shoot and my photographer said to me, you need color so people remember who you are. So I did a poll of my own. I asked my female and a few of my male friends and the general consensus was: "I hate when girls don't wear color."

And Viola. The very next day, I went out looking for the most colorful wardrobe. No more little black dresses, unless the little black dress is worn with a pop of color (red shoes, cute colorful scarf, big bright earrings etc.)

I'm still trying to test this theory, but I think it's true. If you only wear black…who is going to notice you? It's time to step out of the crowd. (And now here we go with award season. I love me a good red carpet. My favorite is reading People magazine after the award show, or even E! and Joan Rivers, who loved what and who took a risk and it worked.) Black is blah.

(Oh and new photos are coming soon. I had a killer photographer take my portrait -- he's Angelina Jolie's favorite photographer. I can't wait to share them with you…but waiting for which portrait is going to be my "book jacket" – very exciting. Thank you to all my friends who consulted me on colors for the photoshoot. I'm pretty happy with them…even if the photographer did give me weird props…naked men, lollipops, and a basketball…whatever. You'll see.)

Go out and burst in a rainbow of color…and get noticed. It's working for me. HC

The Chase

I was re-reading my 2^nd book (which hopefully will be out in Fall 2010 called "Love in the Time of Skinny Jeans") – my opening paragraph asks a good question. So I thought…good blog topic. Here it goes:

Why is there some double standard that a woman has to wait for a guy to ask them out? Really we just want to know if they actually like us. Think about it. If you like someone, and you're a girl, there's nothing you can do about it. Why?

Kinda sucks if you ask me. But why is it a woman can't ask out a guy she's attracted to? Doesn't that take off the pressure? Would you hate it if a woman bought you a beer at a bar?

OR…do you want to chase women? Pursue us? And how long are we to play games with one another and continue this "chasing"?

I was recently having a conversation with a "follower" (you know who you are) and I asked him this very question. He was pretty honest. Yes, he likes to chase women. He says his frustration however comes, when he's got her…and there is no more "chase involved" everything falls apart. Of course this went into a bigger conversation of "what I am I looking for" and I was honest too. I want someone to really like me. Dig me. Be my best friend. And of course love me. But chase me? Hummm. How do I say this…I'm not a fast runner?

So I ask you all. Do we (women) allow men to chase us? Or can we chase men? Is that really a turnoff? Please men…fill me in. I'm all ears…and should I purchase some running shoes?

Internet Dating

You knew I'd eventually get there didn't you? Ah yes. The tales of internet dating. Personally I think my failure here has to do with the guys in LA…that or the water…but for some weird reason…I just never get to the actual "dating" stage in internet dating. These sites take too long and the guys forget about you somewhere in the set up. That or I'm not prolific enough on my email to keep up with them and a new shiny penny has come along and they finally respond…ummmm 3 months later. Or maybe I have a horrible profile pic…I dunno?

I tend to date people I meet; whether it be through a friend, work, at a party etc. Thus I rarely turn down an invitation. But I'm confused with the whole internet dating thing. Look, I've had friends who have met and married their soul mates on the internet…and I've had friends have lots of fun…but never find "the one" – so I tossed myself out there in the ring (all in the name of research right?) And while I can't say my inquiries have been complete busts, I haven't gone on that many dates, as say, my friends in other cities. Truly, I just don't think Los Angeles is the town for internet dating. Or the men really do want to date the "model/actress" which I clearly am not.

Anyway, I got a message recently and well…it kind of made me laugh. So I had to share. This is NOT edited folks. This is an actual response I received on a dating site:

Hey Heidi,

Thanks for the email and my apologies for the delay in responding. I'm actually unemployed in starting off this 2010 and am in that sense borderline on the needing to be rescued department. As pathetic as it sounds, I may have to move back to San Jose with my sister just to keep afloat. Even though my profile is active here on (said website), I'm not really in that great of shape to be starting up a new relationship. Things can change but for now let me wish you continued success, and best of luck in your search for a match!

Roger

 

Hey Roger – like your honesty. But get a job and call me. Truly, I'm not offended…but wow…did that make me laugh.

 

Do you have a similar story? Please share…I'm all ears. HC

Guys with dogs

I have a friend who will not date a guy unless he has a pet. Specifically, a dog.

"It shows he is committed."

Okay. I give up. How does this explore commitment? He needs to run home to Spot, far more frequently than he's asking me on a date?

"He needs to make plans," she says in all honesty. "If he's got a dog, the dog needs to be walked. He's needs to run home and not just leave on a whim."

But I like guys who can be spontaneous. Who needs an old ball and chain back at the house/condo/apartment? Who needs the baggage of "Buddy" going for a pee?

See, I too am a pet owner. I have two cats. I know, I know, single girl with a cat, not to mention two. I voided the curse of being a single girl with a cat for a LONG time. I love cats. I just didn't want to get the label. And here I am…with two. First of all, they are rescues. Secondly, they are twin brothers. Third, they keep me warm at night when no man in my bed, and they know when to vacate, when a guy comes over…they go under the bed. I can leave my boys alone for a good 4 days with some kibble, and a clean litter box. That is a solid weekend away. I don't need to come home and feed or walk them after work. I crack a window for fresh air. My boys are good to go.

But a dog? That's serious commitment. "Exactly!" states my friend. "They can be committed to something. They can have kids."

Slow down Nelly. Really? Do you tell men this? Apparently she does. She airs her theory right out in front of them. "I want to meet your dog. Let's go on hikes."

I guess she's right. It is a good sign to show a guy can be committed to something. But really, I'd prefer the commitment to be me vs. the dog. I see lots of excuses of "I need to race home to Fido…" and while I can say "wow…that's so thoughtful." It's not doing me any good on a Friday night alone with my cats. Yeah, they love me…but I wish I was curled up with someone else.

 

Bloggers Debate Usefulness of Facebook Bra Status Update - Sphere News

Bloggers Debate Usefulness of Facebook Bra Status Update - Sphere News

Better with Age?

We've all heard it said, "things get better with age." Tell that to the wrinkles around my eyes, or the cellulite on my ass.

Today, I got a photo sent to me from a guy I dated years ago. Of course, I had to forward it to my best friend. You see, I chased this guy for months. I'd hang out at his apartment, always dressed super cute for the occasion. I put in so much effort but still received the dreaded line, "let's be friends." (I hate that line by the way...)

"He looks old," was Wendy's response. Now I know...that's harsh. But come on. Do things truly get better with age?

My answer: Maybe?

For me...well, I feel wiser. I feel more confident. I feel more assured of myself. And , I actually feel better (less hangovers maybe?) I'm eating better, working out, and taking care of myself. And a guy at my high school reunion recently told me I was hotter now than in high school (that made my ...decade).
Here's the thing, I know what I want and when I want it. But is that necessarily better?

My guess is when we all start out in the early phases of dating we're thin, tan, have visions of huge bank accounts and yachts in our heads. And that's what we all liked in each other. Vision. Ambition. Goals.

As we age, we realize. Hum...not going to get that yacht. So are we better off?
Not so much for my worn down friend.

And should that make me feel okay?

You bet your cellulite covered ass it does. When we are dumped by the ones we try so hard to impress...I wish every single girl out there would get a horrible photo from the men in their past. It just gives me a ground swell of warmth.

But to really answer the question...do I like the wrinkles and the cellulite, no. But do I want to revert back to the silliness of not knowing who I am and acting totally stupid in front of men. Definitely NOT...so therefore.
I am getting better with age. Tried, true and tested.

Sister's Dating woes...

Well..this was an email that made me laugh. So I had to share. It comes from my sister...Guess I should put it in the "Try, Try and Try Again" section -- this guy is a "classic"...enjoy her tale:

OMG - just had to email you about my date last night. The only plus was that the guy had used a recent picture. Unfortunately, that picture showed that he was bald, fleshy and beady eyed. The only reason I met him for coffee is the hope that he had a big wallet but a very bad camera, and maybe because I had a New Years resolution to be "open minded." The date started out OK - coffee at Starbucks on a Tuesday in a neutral part of town. But quickly it turned into what sounded like a flyer for a self help seminar. Turns out he had been to two such seminars in under 9 months at a clip of at least $1000 per session, and he was so excited to work some of those sure fire "attract your perfect mate" techniques that he misread my fascination as interest, not abhorrence. He had apparently learned some sort of 'transference of loving positive vibe sharing' and decided he would try it out on me. Having survived a former volcan mind meld with an ex-boyfriend, he had no idea that this "vibe sharing" was only my concentration to remember how bad this date was going. I was determined to remember his sausage finger hands gripping the faux leather chair in excitement, and his steely gaze of his own hypnotic undertaking trying desperately to keep me engaged. Luckily, like many in the dating wars, I had expertly plotted my exit long before the date began and was able to disengage myself from this hapless soul before the mind meld melted my resolve to escape. I did give him the perfunctory chaste hug goodbye and dropped him the, "I just started this internet dating thing and am going on a few dates this week" line so that I could properly dump him through email in 48 hours. Some girl was really going to like his creepy intensity, but it wasn't this girl tonight.

Good one Tree...Thank you for sharing.

If you have a tale, email me at: Heididcarson@gmail.com

The Book...The Book...The Book is on fire...

Okay, many of you have asked me, "is your book about your dating life?"

That would be a BIG NO. It's a work of FICTION. And when I say FICTION. I mean FICTION. I am not, nor ever will be dating an actor. But here's the "official book blurb" -- Enjoy...and make comments!

Dating in La La Land by Heidi Carson

28-year-old Meg Miller works for Lighthearted Films as a Development Executive. Her life is turned on its head when she is thrust into the limelight and set up with super star Roland Lance for a secret, six week dating contract. But who made the arrangement? Was it the studio behind the actors picture? Was it Roland’s uber publicist Tori Richards? Was it Meg’s boss Claire, who is secretly pining for Roland? Or was it simply Roland trying to ask out “the girl next door”? As Meg heads to ballet openings, world premieres, and Hollywood clubs she learns its best to speak up for what you believe in and to let your heart speak for itself.

Written with wit and panache, Heidi Carson is a new voice of Hollywood chick lit. A former assistant to a famous actor, Heidi Carson knows what she’s talking about and her fresh approach has given us something to read on the beaches in Malibu, studio sets in Hollywood, or coffee shops in Beverly Hills.

New Year...New Things

Happy New Year.

I don't know about you, but every year I actually do my New Years Resolutions. I post them right on a chalk board in my kitchen and stare at them for about 6 months, until I finally erase them. So did I achieve last years goals? Actually, I think I did pretty good. But its a new decade...new me too.

2010 Goals:

Go Out More (be more social). Do not turn down an invitation no matter how exhausted you are...going out equals stories and you are a writer. This is actually a repeat from last year...but...if you read the last post...do I go to married guys pot luck tomorrow? Confliction...but could get a story right?

Do not drink alone. If you are going to have a drink, you must be with someone. (So again...pushing that social thing....again a repeat and No I didn't always keep this resolution in 2009...I'll try harder in 2010.)

Lose 20 lbs. Last year I lost 15. (Not bad....I did go down the all important dress size. Yeah me. But I have about 15 or 20 to go. I want to get there this year.)

Be more active. The gym is fun, well not fun, but practical. But I'd like to do more bike riding, public gardening, hiking etc. Things outside, again...keep up the social thing. (Current issue is time and the lack of sunlight in the early hours.)


Get published. (All signs are pointing that is is going to finally happen. Yeah me.)


Travel more. (I am currently dreaming about 3 vacations. Don't know with whom or when these can/will happen...but I will attempt to go to three places near and far in 2010.)


Listen to own voice and not be pressured. Be sane, and not let the insane rule my life. (This is probably going to be the hardest thing for me. My head races with a mindful of ideas that aren't always necessarily the best choices.)

Flirt more. (Literally I was at the CHP (California Highway Patrol Office) the other day, and I flirted with the officer checking out to make sure I had my headlights fixed - stop it with the sex jokes okay -- and well...it was fun. A little smirk and a smile not only makes my day, it can makes someone else's, so I need to flirt more.)

Fall in love. (Could be simple...or heartbreaking. I've had years filled with both. But I'm throwing my heart out there again this year. And looking for serious takers. Truly. Be men...got it?)


So well, now that 2010 is actually here I guess I have to be committed to these. All I can say is ...men...invite me out...I'll show up, flirt with you, not be pressured to do something I don't want to do, but I'll look hot because I'll be tan from being outdoors, and rested from all my traveling and hell...I'll be published. Damn. I'm tired of thinking of all this. So it's time to get busy.

Wish me luck...and keep reading.

Heidi