Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What About Prom?

The other day, I was minding my own business writing at a coffee shop. It was around 4:00pm in the “after school hours” and I watched a couple of teens saddle into the seats next to me. While I had my earphones on, I had the volume on low. (I love overhearing conversations, especially young love.)

“Um, so, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” she asked. I felt like I was right back in highschool.

Here’s a shocker. I too asked a boy to prom.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Brian, a rebel, had been suspended from our school. I’m not sure why he was back on campus, but I totally remember asking him to prom in the parking lot and climbing the steps to yell to my bestie Kathy, “He said YES!”

There is something about prom season that brings me right back to high school. The pressure to find a date, the memories it creates, the moves he’s going to make, the bad corsages, the horrible posed pictures. It’s like the world’s worst first date, but a rite of passage at the same time.

Brian didn’t rent a limo, and we didn’t have that awkward moment at my parent’s house where they gushed over us. He was ‘low key’ -- we met at the venue.

Look, I knew then that Brian wasn’t that into me, but it didn’t deter the butterflies in my stomach. After all, I was just happy he said yes, and I was hopeful.

Looking back now, dating “Brian’s” was a pattern for me. I’d develop a huge crush, they knew it, and I’d let them treat me like crap. I had seriously low self esteem.

I sort of wish I could return to prom as an adult. I would do things much more differently and I have so much more self confidence. First, I would avoid Brian (and all other Brian-types), and find a date that actually wanted to go with me. One who wanted to be with me.

But as I’m examining the teens sitting next to me, I can see the same pattern. He’s not making eye contact, told her, “I’m not sure,” and now they are sitting there sipping their drinks in utter silence. (I so want to tell this girl that he’s not that into her…but alas...I’m mute.) Times have not changed.

(Oh and because I know you are all curious: This guy is not that “hot” on the “hot-ness” wheel of teen-dom. He might have some street cred on campus, I’m not sure. My guess is, he’s waiting to get a better offer. The girl on the other hand is far better looking, and I so want to tell her this, because she’s not going to believe her parents, when she tells them he said NO.)
Here’s what I know for sure: Yes, you have to put yourself out there if you want to find love. Yes, guys measure us up. Yes, you will get rejected more than accepted. Love hasn’t changed. Respect hasn’t changed. And you know…prom hasn’t changed. It’s still an awkward night. (Who wear ball gowns to dinners? Yes, we are all looking at you.) Have self confidence and don’t worry if you just go with friends. The thing is. Go. Cause you’ll be talking about it many years later.

And Brian if you are out there…. I’m still single. (But I’m not waiting for you to call.)

Thursday, April 7, 2011


I’ve had some friends recently tell me that they admire how many dates I go on. Am I not the norm? What are you people doing at home?

For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve always been a social person. I was that kid on the playground, who’d go up to strangers and ask them if they wanted to play. It’s just how I am. I feel the same way in my dating life. I go out and meet a lot of men…some I continue to date, some I never hear from again, and some I might not “fall in love” but, develop friendships. I’m social. So kill me. I like meeting new people.

But not everyone I meet becomes a relationship.

When I usually reveal I’m a “romance writer” I get a varied reaction. Usually it starts with “cool” – but when I tell them I maintain a blog called “Dating in La La Land” they somewhat freak out. Here’s the thing, while I might write about “my dates” in this blog…I always have approval from the men beforehand.

The script usually goes something like this “I’m a romance writer”

And they respond with: “I could tell you some stories….”

And then they go on to tell me about the horrible women they’ve dated. But it’s not just the men….my girlfriends tell me too.

For example: My friend Laura went out with a guy, who when he hopped off the counter stool revealed he was a dwarf.

My friend Craig had a women use another photograph as her profile pic and flew in to meet him from out-of-town. She thought this ambush would work on him. (Right, like he’d be fine with a total stranger staying with him for three days). Craig, the utter gentleman, took her to a hotel.

One of my dates told me about the girl who was quick to point out she’d have sex with him that night if he wanted it. When he told me this story, I sat in utter awe…geez…are women really that ballsy? Apparently so, but my date didn’t take her up on her offer. He found her slutty. (Good call.)

Now I can’t say every date I’ve been on has been… “Choice” – there was a viral message I sent out about this guy who I went on a hike with on the beach, and the tide came in and well…he thought this was the oceans way of telling him to suck my face off. I couldn’t escape fast enough from that one.

But I’m curious…what bad dates have you been on? I’m always writing about thoughts and theories…and I need to hear more. So bring it on.

Oh…and get out there and meet people. I know we will all find love …it’s what I live for. Cause if there is one thing I know…he’s not in your apartment right now…so get out!