Sunday, October 9, 2011

Dog People

I know I’m going to offend a few friends here….but let me tell you something. Many of you aren’t opening your eyes. You are wagging your tails.

I have more than one girlfriend who for some reason or another decided to get a dog in their mid-30’s. Once this happened, they stopped dating men, and started dating their dog. They were no longer available to go to dinner or drinks, suddenly, they had to go home and be with their pooch.

Just the other night, a bunch of friends were planning to get together because our friend Chris was visiting from New York. One friend Tessa had just adopted a new puppy. When the other women saw Chris at the wine bar, we asked “where is Tessa?” It didn’t take long for us all to bring up the stories of fellow girlfriends who went down the doggie path.

Now I have tons of girlfriends who wax poetically about how they get out more and our social because of their dogs. (They even make “dates” at the dog park.) That’s wonderful, but how many events have you cancelled because you have to run home to Fido, when you could potentially have been set up, met, or bumped into a potential date? (And I’m not going to ask you how many dates you’ve cancelled, when you had dates, because you know the answer.)

I’ve even had friends lose their jobs and get dogs, and now think, “I can’t possibly get a job, what will Rex do all day?” (Answer: lay around, sleep, and wait for you to come home.)

Single girls – listen to me – think before you get a dog. Sure they give you unconditional love. Sure, they are cute, cuddle, keep you warm at night and they “listen to you”. Now think about how many times you have used them as your excuse not to go somewhere? Can’t do that weekender to Vegas because you have Spot.

Yep…it’s hindering you and your dating life.

Now, I am not a dog hater. I love dogs. When my dad died, my mom got a dog. Best companion of her life. I’ve been a “step parent” to many pooches and I always include my friends dogs when I’m addressing Christmas cards. It’s the single girls who think they are always available, but can’t hear themselves state how many times they have used the “got to get home to feed/walk the dog” excuse.

It’s a problem.

I’m not stating for you to send your dog to a shelter, I’m asking you to make better arrangements. Find a neighbor to feed your pet when you get the last minute invite to watch Monday night football. Or hell, if “he” calls. Stop using the dog excuse.

If you are single and thinking about getting a dog, this is your warning…your friends will get very resentful toward your cute cuddly furball if you start choosing the dog before them. Not to mention, you will not be as available for dating.

Now if you are the age of my mother, fine, get a dog…they are loving companions and I know she doesn’t want to get married or is even thinking about going on a date. But even my mother has a back up plan when she gets the last minute invite (she calls my brother).

But you ladies in your 20’s; 30’s and beyond…unless you have back-up help…woof woof.

What would you rather have in your bed every night?

(And no this rule doesn’t apply to cats…because cat owners know, you can leave a cat home alone for a weekend with food, water and a litter box.)