Saturday, March 20, 2010

4 Things…

Okay…I'm reading other blogs…and I came across this one that told me to ask myself these questions. Why? I don't know…but …I thought I'd answer them for you:
4 shows I like to watch:
1. Top Chef (my dad was the greatest chef ever…and I feel inspired).
2. Project Runway (I wish I could sew and make clothes like that).
3. American Idol – (it is the perfect show to do housework to…that said…I never do housework…so I TiVo and have marathons).
4. This is a toss up…for every show I have a friend who works on it (The Middle; Southland; Real Housewives of NYC and more) I am a supporter and follower of all my friends in TV.

4 things I am passionate about:
1. Writing.
2. My family – they rock.
3. My friends – okay they are awesome too (most of you)
4. Giving back. I love my volunteer work. Really I do.

4 phrases I say a lot:
1. "They aren't available"

2. "I'm not sure where my secret pack of elves filed that?"
3. "No Way" (Pam, Wendy…yeah…I still say that all the time.)
4. "You complete me" (no really….I wish to say that more); tie with: "set me up…I'm single"

4 things I have learned, or am learning:
1. Holding my tongue and not revealing too much. (I know…I need work on this.)
2. Not to drive too fast (very hard…but I got two speeding tickets last month…ouch…so I'm really trying. But come on…cops on Pacific Coast Hwy suck!)
3. How to date…I know…I should be an expert…but I'm not.
4. Listening…

4 places I would like to go:
1. In the arms of a new guy J
2. New Zealand – My sis and I want to go caving.
3. Paris with a guy I love…
4. Wine country…which I have a coupon to a spa…so who wants to go with me?

4 things I did yesterday:
1. Hung with my Book Club Girls – love you all: Marla, Carolyn and Bekah…you guys rock!
2. Worked.
3. Walked on the beach and met someone…hummm. (More on this in next blog post!)
4. Drank with book club girls…cause really…its what we do…

4 things I am looking forward to:
1. Closing new book deal.
2. Falling in love with someone I haven't met.
3. Leaving current job.
4. Seeing niece's faces when I tell them I'm taking them to a movie premiere.

4 things on my wish list:
1. Finding love.
2. Having my crush bust a move and passionately kiss me.
3. Leaving before 7pm on a Friday night from work.
4. Being whisked off on a private jet to some unknown location by hot guy.

4 people I tag:
1. Maddie (we seem to go to lots of public outings).
2. Adam (okay…Adam tags himself).
3. Spencer
4. Me!

These are silly…but hope you enjoy my answers. You can answer them too. I'm curious.  

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Transition Song

I got a call from my best friend Wendy today. She had to call me because our "transition song" came on the radio

Backstory: We went to Europe about ten years ago, and we had a CD with ONE song on it. It became our "transition song" while we looked for another CD to stick in the CD player. The transition song was… Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me".

The irony here is….I got dumped by a guy this weekend which I "couldn't make him love me."

I needed this laugh.

It is my belief that when one is "dating" they do just that…date…and date many. As another friend has put it… is there a ring on your finger? To which I usually respond with a big fat NO. So this guy wasn't the only person I was "dating" – that said, I never mentioned it to him. But is that wrong?

I don't think so. That's what dating is? Trying to figure out if you love someone…right?

This guy I had been seeing had told me he liked a chase. So I was seeing if he was actually going to step up to the plate and chase me (…a little game I played unsuccessfully I must admit…because I did like him and was JUST starting to fall for him when he dropped the bomb.) Anyway, after a really nice hike on Saturday, I was sensing a little departure from him…he wasn't his chatty self, he tells me "I'm kinda seeing someone else" – ouch. Really?

Was he being polite? Is he in "love"? And why did he feel the need to tell me I was number 2?

It was weird…and he left the door open. So why did he feel the need to tell me?

All he did tell me is that he's been on two dates with this other woman and well…they messed around and he didn't want to hurt me.

Did I give off the sense that I wanted to know this? Truth be told, I had told him early on in our "dating" was that "I want someone who wants me."

So somewhere in the chain he must have thought he was the only one I was "dating" and he wanted me to know he was interested in someone else so I didn't get hurt. But in reality. I wish he hadn't said anything. Because now…I don't want to be his number 2. I'm not a consolation prize. I have pretty high self esteem. He made his choice. And obviously…its not me. If it doesn't work out with this other girl, I don't really want him to call. I want him to realize, he screwed up and he told me too early on that he was dating someone else (when he had only been on two dates with her. Again….I'm not a number two.)

Bottom line: He should have stepped up and chased me if he really wanted me. Truth be told, I have others who might just love me. But right now…I'm allowing the chase. I am worthy. And well…"I can't make you love me." And I feel I'm just in another transition. All you others..time to step up.