Saturday, January 15, 2011

Pay a date forward

The other day I was in Starbucks wherein the cashier told me that my drink had been paid for by a patron ahead of me. I glanced over to a beautiful red-headed woman and nodded a thank you. She was utterly embarrassed.

She politely confessed, "I told the cashier not to tell anyone I was purchasing drinks for the line. I simply wanted to 'pay it forward'."

I was thrilled with my afternoon pick-me-up and it got me thinking. I had been on a number of dates recently wherein for one reason or another, it wasn't a good fit, but I thought…maybe I should introduce them to another single friend of mine. A sort of paying a date forward.

I've been struggling with writing a blog post about a certain concept for about the past year. The idea was submitted to me by a friend wherein she stated I needed a "pair and a spare" in my dating life. That's right, I should always be dating three men at once. So I went out on this quest, and often was juggling three and even four men in my dating life at once. While I never wanted to confess I had such a prolific dating life on a public blog, I was literally keeping my options open and meeting new people. And let me just tell you, I've met some great men and while it might not have worked out for us romantically, I have thought about setting some of them up with my single friends. But is that such a good idea? (Girlfriends of mine…please feel free to chime in here.) I mean, who wants my cast-offs? But then again, if they weren't good fits for me, perhaps they would be a good fit for someone else?

(For the record… when dating multiple suitors…I ALWAYS had a rule. Once someone was moving into first position and we progressed to the bedroom, I would stop dating others. So before you all think I'm some ho-bag. I do have standards. Please.)

Anyway… I think that red-head is inspiring… I'm going to do the same thing today. Randomly buy someone coffee, and perhaps email a few friends and set up some dates. It's a New Year, and all I want is for everyone to find love.

Who knows if it will be successful or not, but if everyone is open to the idea… I'm going to pay a date forward.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Puffy Shirts

"He told me he worked in Regional Distribution" my friend Bekah said, "what he really meant was, he was a pizza delivery guy."

Ever been on a first date wherein the guy puffed up his image? And then a few dates down the line he was really…a pizza delivery guy? Bekah's story is all too familiar to me.

I can't tell you how many dates I've been on or heard tales of first dates wherein the "truth" was a little far from reality… the "financial analyst" is really a bank teller; the "chef" is really working at Taco Bell; the "talent manager" is an out of work actor; the "law enforcement officer" is really a security guard; and my favorite, the "government worker" is really collecting unemployment because really…in his eyes the government was paying him to not work right now.

Why do we do this? When we really get to know the person and they start revealing the truths we are going to second guess everything they've just said to us.

"She'll never go out with me if she knows I'm just an accountant," a friend told me. Says who? I would go out with an accountant. Shows they know how to deal with money, and who knows, they might have a good personality!

I went on a couple dates with a guy who was at the time the CEO of a company, but he had a tough road to this title. A little foreclosure, a little bankruptcy, but now he had a job and things were looking up…until…he lost his job…again.

In an instant he thought I didn't want to go out with him. Why would I? He didn't have a job. He had nothing.

He was totally wrong.

He had a great personality. We had similar interests, had fun dates, and he made me laugh.

But all that changed the day he lost his job.

His witty banter went right out of him and there was no way to prop him up. It wasn't about his status in life, I liked him in spite of his job. I told the CEO to put the wind back in his sails, but it was easier for him to run away vs. face me. I have never heard from him again.

I know my job does not define me. I am far more than a writer, blogger, television producer.

Confidence in what you do is sexy. So even if you are "just a" (insert: pizza delivery guy, accountant, production assistant, truck driver, barista, whatever.) Own it. Be the best burger flipper you can. Don't over inflate yourself to get the girl. She'll figure it out anyway. Aim high and have goals…cause if we like you, we'll believe in you.

The one thing I know for sure, behind every good man, is a good woman. And I love a confident man.
(Now, that said: I will admit, there are some superficial chicks out there. But did you really want them anyways? )