What am I thinking? Who dates gay men? Well…me. (More than one I might add.) Mark them off the list…. Not exactly my rule. Okay. I know what you're thinking. This should be obvious. Single, straight, women should not date gay men. We can't date gay men. They like men. Right? Well, if you live in Los Angeles I can almost guarantee that one of your best friends is a gay man and you had a crush on him at one point in time.
Gay Boyfriend #1 Cole: I met Cole through a friend of mine. An actor. He became my nearest and dearest friend (and we are still close to this day). He became my date to many events. When I met Cole, he didn't blurt out "I'm gay" and come marching in with rainbow stickers, 6-pack abs, and a Simon Cowell tight t-shirt. No. Cole is a round, cherubic "bear" type with a sunny disposition – totally "my type". It wasn't until one night when we were snuggling on the couch watching old movies did he tell me "I like men" – bummer.
Gay Boyfriend #2 Brian: Brian is a producer friend who lived in Florida and wanted to move out to Los Angeles. When I went to visit him in Florida, I wore some really cute lingerie to get him to notice me – he didn't make a move. But that didn't deter me. Finally, Brian packed up his things and moved west and lived on my couch for a couple weeks before he found his own place. One morning, Brian was in the kitchen wearing a face mask. My roommate gave me one look that said it all – I do not know a straight man alive who is doing facial regimens – that guy is gay. And well…two years later when Brian came out of the closet to me…I wasn't shocked. It all made sense. Brian was never interested in me.
I called Cole and Brian my gay boyfriends but in reality, we never "dated". I had a crush on them, we'd hang out…see if they were interested, and when they didn't take the bait, I'd move on. I have terrible gay-dar. This is a well known fact.
I've learned a few things over the years.…and have managed to have healthy relationships with straight men. But, I do long for a man who is in touch with his feminine side (so kill me) and I heart my gay boyfriends who can stay up for hours and have the best girl talks ever. --HC
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