The Facebook Era

He wrote on his Facebook wall, "I'm spending the day with my girlfriend." Excuse me? You told me you broke up.
Clue number one: he never changed his "relationship status". I just thought he was a lazy guy. Stupid me.
I have a love/hate thing going on with Facebook. I love the fact that I can send out a message and everyone gets a slice of my life. And I hate the fact that I need to somewhat cage my comments to not offend my mom's best friend I friended.
Sound familiar?
In the world of dating…facebook can be very dangerous. I've learned my lesson. Friending should be like being in a monogamous relationship. Do not friend a guy until you are in a "relationship". If you are just hanging out, and still doing the "does he like me dance" – it's too soon. Oh and wait and have him ask to friend you…don't be doing the friending. And be adult…discuss it. You are opening a WIDE door into your world of friends and colleagues, as well your high school classmates you reconnected at the reunion. Enter with caution.
I  love the reconnection with people I haven't seen in eons that facebook offers. Most of my facebookers are friends from High School, but I even found a friend from Kindergarten! Kindergarten! Wow.
But then there are those acquaintances I meet at a party and seriously….we friend each other at the table….and well…now they know when I'm dancing in my condo to Justin Timberlake like a teenager (a recent post…I will admit).
Oh and then there are all the lame posts from friends on the "funny things my friends kids did"; the "hourly updates of people who think they are interesting"; and then I have one friend who posts his eating adventures. These are cute; time sucks, but cute. (I truly hate the Mafia Wars, Farmville, Psychic predictions, horoscopes of my friends, or the "Send me a heart"…things that pop up, but I scroll through them all.)
Social networking…the term makes me laugh, because we are social with the internet…we actually don't get together and call each other. It's really not that social.
But dating…
In the world of dating, this can be a serious danger zone. I was pursued by the "guy with a girlfriend" and he said "friend me" – so I did. Obviously…somewhere in the 4 weeks we were getting to know each other and I thought he was seriously interested in me…well, he posted to his "friends" about a little getaway with his girlfriend. (Ahhhh, he's now "unfriended."….If only it was that easy to change my phone number, thankfully, I have caller ID and I just don't have to take his call, right? )
So a word of caution…be social. Keep your facebook page. But let him friend you. Then you really know if he's interested. Check out his friends. If you get a weird read. Unfriend and move on…fast.
HC