Things not to do…

Oh Man. I hate when this happens. You are browsing the bookshelves and come across a dating book and realize. I've done everything wrong. Who am I to give dating advice?
So here you go: from the book: "Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex" – intriguing huh?
Okay – here's what the "relationship experts" tell us we do wrong:
WOMEN:
*Constantly call, instant message and text (okay…I'm guilty of this.)
*Use goofy pet names in public. (I don't do this. I think this is lame too!)
*Ask where this relationship is going. (I don't always do this…but do want to know around date 5 otherwise…you are wasting my time. Is this wrong?)
*Ask if they look fat in an outfit. (wtf…can't we ask them that? I just want an opinion…I think…. Oh right…he won't give an honest answer. Good to know.)


MEN:
*Try sex too early. (hum…I'm not opposed to this…that is if I'm attracted to you.)
*Lie about how tall they are or how much money they make. (True. We will always find out the truth. Be honest.)
*Whip out a calculator at dinner to split a check. (I've never had a calculator whipped out…. most dates I've had know how to halve a bill. I have no issue with splitting checks…most of the time.)
*Want to go out to dinner on a first date vs something casual like having coffee. (Really? That's an issue. I totally prefer dinner.)
*Play head games such as waiting three days before calling after a date. (Oh yeah…this happens all the time. I call them chicken shits.)
*Whine about how past exes did them wrong. (There are a lot of bad women out there…and I feel it's my job to let men know there are normal chicks out there. That is if I'm considered normal.)


BOTH SEXES:
*Talk about children on a first date. (Yeah…not yet….wait until date 3 or 4 to dive into the kids.)
*Are late for a date. (I am SO guilty of this. I work/live so far from everyone and as much as I plan ahead, I have a hard time judging traffic. Forgive me.)
*Are more interested in their pets than their dates. (I'm starting to learn…this is an issue with some of my friends too. Humans can talk. Get out more.)