Got My Cook On

I recently read an article where the writer was expounding on what she learned about dating with 31 things she wished she knew in her 20's. Number 12, she wishes she learned to cook and cook well. It helps a lot. Ahhhh to be a good cook, in her view…a way to a man's heart was through his tummy.


Link to Glamour Magazine article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=23779082#atoolb

On the eve of my birthday…where I'm one year older, and in my thought wiser, I have recently got my "cook on". For you see, I am the daughter of a family cook (he wasn't a chef at a restaurant or anything…) but my dad claimed that he was taught by the famed Cordon Bleu Culinary School. And my dad was one killer cook. Every Sunday, he'd hit the farmed markets, multiple grocery stores, and cook up some of my most memorable dinners. Sunday Dinner is still a tradition in my family. And as an adult, when I'm home alone, I usually try and whip up a culinary masterpiece on Sundays, whether for myself, with friends, or dare I say…a man.

I'm also a big believer in the dinner party. I introduced couples who eventually married at one of my famed dining adventures. I've had people meet and create multi-million dollar venture deals…all at my humble dinner table. I love to gather friends and family. It's what really makes my heart tick.

Recently, I was "hired" by a friend to be a caregiver for her elderly father John. She asked me if I could cook dinner for her dad too. My first day on the job, I looked in the fridge and the pantry and dare I say? I was in the "prepared food nightmare". The entire freezer and pantry had boxed dinners. Now, I have nothing against Stove Top stuffing and Rice-a-Roni…but I decided to try out some of my favorite dishes for John. After dining on my breaded filet of sole with lemon sauce, honey-glazed carrots and wild rice with slivered almonds…John looked at me and asked, "now, why aren't you married?' (Made me just love John all the more.) For a week, I cooked this man beautiful food for very little money. Now I will confess, the "bread" of the "breaded filet of sole", was Bisquick, because for the life of me…I couldn't find flour in the pantry! But…that's what a creative cook does…you make due with what you have and a little trial and error just makes you a better cook. (FYI – John is currently on the hunt to set me up, so this could get interesting….but these are my adventures for you…so enjoy.)

I have a multitude of dishes in my repertoire, but ladies, I think it is of the upmost importance to know how to cook four simple items that will wow any date. They'll actually think you can cook, even if you don't think you can.

Here are the dishes to master:

• 
  
  Roast Chicken – this is SO easy and they think you slave over the stove. You don't. Literally you prep a chicken (take it out of a bag, wash it); salt and pepper and throw into the cavity of the bird: Onions OR oranges and lemons. Drizzle some olive oil and sprinkle your favorite herbs on top (dried thyme, basil, rosemary…or whatever you have on hand…Mrs. Dash? Whatever really…) and throw it in a 350 degree oven for an hour and 20 minutes…make some rice and a vegetable…Voila, dinner is served. So simple.
• 
  
  Simple Spaghetti sauce from scratch: I say "scratch" – but really a couple cans of quality stewed tomatoes, dried and fresh herbs (hello basil), olive oil, crushed garlic, diced onions, salt and pepper. Really…it's not that difficult but you can really dazzle a guy by making sauce from "scratch" – and you don't need to tell him the tomatoes came from a can. If you can boil pasta…you can make this dish. Trust me.
• 
  
  Grilled meat: Ladies. Men like steak. If you can take over their beloved grill…go for it. If the grill is "his domain" – pan frying is delicious too. Simply add butter to the pan (its true…everything tastes better with butter) and here's the key – once you get a sear…turn down the heat and continue cooking it low and slow for another 10 minutes. Then let the meat REST for 5 minutes. This allows it to continue cooking and keep juicy. After cooking your steak, add onions and mushrooms and deglaze it with some red wine or balsamic vinegar…and well…your man will have died and gone to heaven. Oh and for brownie points…make homemade French fries. Again…super easy. Oven at 400 – cut up a potato (or sweet potato) into match sticks sprinkle with oil and salt…bake for 10-12 minutes. He'll think you are a super woman…and it took you no time.
• Apple Pie: I actually like to bake and I used to hate apple pie (I wasn't a fan of warmed fruit). Then I went to a picnic and tasted a homemade pie and was hooked. When I learned how easy to bake a homemade apple pie…well, I became a fan and truly, everyone loves a homemade apple pie. Now…I will confess…I'm not a "crust maker" – (Martha Stewart purist I'm not.) Since Pillsbury makes a fine crust in the perfect dimensions…why would I even think about chilling butter and making my own homemade crust? Exactly…you don't need to master crust making either. So buy a pre-made crust (or make your own if you dare…but trust me, your guy/guests they won't know the difference). Filling: peel and slice about 8 small granny smith apples, zest of one lemon, juice of 2 lemons, add ½ cup of sugar, ¼ cup of flour, sprinkle on cinnamon and nutmeg (to your liking). Put them in the pie shell. Cut up half a stick of butter (1/4 cup) and add pieces of butter into the apples. Cover the pie with other crust and cut slits on the top. Brush with milk and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 10 minutes in a 400 degree oven (on a cookie sheet); reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake for another 40-45 minutes. Hello. So easy…serve with vanilla ice cream. And you score major points.

The cynical one in me is thinking…if I'm such a good cook, how come I'm not married? Well….I'm usually not cooking for my dates. So this is going to change. Because, if cooking is a way to a man's heart, I feel I need to stop having so many parties, and start creating more intimate dinners. Oh, and for my birthday, I am purchasing a new dining room table if nothing else, I will be whipping up romantic dinners for two.

Sweet!

HC

Al and Tipper Gore

Seperating? Divorcing? Say what?
My best friend has a thing for Al Gore. She volunteered for him during the 2000 election campaign. Walked door-to-door expounding his attributes to the masses. Wore her Gore/Lieberman hat proudly to my very Republican parents house (and was asked to leave actually). And then one morning, she woke up and said, "Wow…I just had this awesome dream. Al Gore was great in the sack." From then on…she's had fantasies about Al.
So this morning, as I perused the headlines, I see Al and Tipper are seperating.
No explanation given, it was a mutual decision. Of course I had to call my best friend.
"I know…maybe I have a chance?" she blurted. Somehow, I don't think so, but I let her fantasize.
After famously, laying a big fat kiss on Tipper during the 2000 Democratic Convention, Al had become some fantasy of my friend as the perfect lover with power.
Recently I went to an Al Gore book signing/public speaking event. Here was a confident man, giving a speech he'd probably given a hundred times. It was time for people to wake up to Global Warming and take action. The room was filled with men and women; students and suits; young and old…it was a general mix. He wasn't converting anyone…we all knew about Global Warming…but we hung on his every word. He stood tall, was smart, polite, Southern Charmer, and while I chuckled at his "Gore-isms" and the way he pronunciated his h's, I understood my best friends attraction. Al Gore was a nice guy.
And then today's news.
Come on Tipper…what do you know?
Did he have an affair with some documentary filmmaker ala John Edwards? Laurie David perhaps?
Traveling too much?
Was he too into giving speeches and presentations on Global Warming, that he missed the warm sensation for your embrace?
Details, we need details!
I swear, if I hear Al Gore traded her in for a younger woman, I'm going to hurl. Tipper is a good woman Al. Wake up and don't be so delusional. What are you looking for at your age?
Or was it Tipper? Did she leave ha-ha-ha-him? Hey Tipper, you think someone else is going to walk in and sweep you off your feet? How often was he on the road? Because last time I checked, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
So what gives?
After 40 years of marriage…what would make you two throw it all away? The press will find out…so why are they being so vague?
I'm utterly curious now…and I know something is going to crack. For now…hey best friend…go for it. Start your dreamin. Because Al Gore is on the open market.

The Classy Dresser

"A woman broke up with me because she didn't like the clothes I wore, but she's madly in love with a guy who dresses well but doesn't call her." – From "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb

Admit it. When I guy is put together it's a turn on. I'm not talking Euro cheese suits with pocket squares, I'm simply stating, a nice well dressed man who has clothes that actually match is a big plus. He looks put together, organized, and employed. So kill me.

And yes, for the record, I have fallen for a guy because he dressed well…and never called me. He was the type who stepped out of a J Crew catalogue. Professional, had his shirts dry cleaned and pressed. Oh, and he wore great shoes. So superficial of me…but it's true. I wanted him more because he fit some stereotype of the 'perfect guy' than his actual personality (which I look back now was totally lacking.) But is that what I really want? A guy who knows how to dress but not pick up the phone?

When I was younger, I think High School, I remember my sister and I going shopping for my older brother. We went to The Gap, J Crew, Abercrombie and bought him Khaki's, polos, buttons downs, maybe even a pair of loafers. We wanted to dress my brother like the guy we would date…like he was some "Ken Doll" and this would transform him into the perfect guy.

This did not work on my brother.

My brother is a sound engineer. His uniform, some sort of concert t-shirt, cargo shorts and Birkenstocks. Abercrombie he is not. We could not change him for all the shopping trips and sisterly love…trust me we tried.
I don't know what it is, but I honestly think men who shop at these "preppy stores" have good jobs that require them to dress this way. So my hypothesis is: they have job security (something I don't always have.) Trust me my research is not scientific, I'm just stating my ideas here….
"What if I change clothes when I get home and put on cargo shorts and concert t-shirts," suggested a cocky friend of mine. I hear that argument, but tend to think (or rather hope) that you don't mind wearing your preppy clothes and more importantly know how to dress when invited to a dinner party, wedding, or country club social. (Because trust me, my brother…doesn't. He would still wear his Birkenstocks and cargo shorts wherever he'd be invited. He's just that clueless.)
But should I settle for guy in acid wash jeans? Please. Forgive me for being superficial…but, I must be attracted to a guy if I'm going to date him. Sure, I go out of my house in sweats, no make-up…and I hang in my house in clothing I should have banished to Goodwill long ago. But it's not what I'm wearing 95% of the time. If a guy is bothered by the fact I like to wear cute sundresses and fancy the colors pink and green…well then, I'm not their ideal type either. (Somehow, I think I'll get far more head turns in the sundress that my sweatpants.)
Bottom line… if you meet the guy and he's wearing cargo shorts and concert t-shirts…well…that's what you're getting. You can't change him. I get it. For now, I'm hanging at the Gap, looking for a mate who has an unlimited phone plan.
HC

The Settling Point

I just finished reading "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb.

Yes. That book about how women are supposed to settle for mediocre men because well…we are not the princesses our daddies told us we were.

I know. I hear you. When I first read a review, I literally laughed audibly and thought…this woman is nuts. Her point was "women should settle for Mr. Okay." Seriously?

Thank God for my Kindle which allowed me to purchase this book electronically because I would NEVER read it in public. But let me be the first one to tell you. It's worth the read. (Even if it makes you truly depressed.)

In the name of research…I read it…no devoured it…cover to cover. I have to laugh when she said, "I don't think I'll ever get another date after writing this book" – ahhh…yeah..I agree. Good luck with that.

Ms. Gottlieb polled women in their twenties, thirties and forties. From the pie-in-the-sky attitude of the twenty-somethings who had careers on their mind, and plenty of men, but looking for a good one who was perfect in every way. Most had unreliable lists and a plethora of deal breakers. Women in their mid-thirties and forties…well the gloves are off…these women will take the beer gut, bad dresser, the divorced dad with a couple kids. As long as we can have sex once a week, and well…you are breathing. But the men, they can, and are, dating women in the twenties. YIKES.

But you know what…she makes a point.

So who is she talking too? Women in their twenties…don't be so picky? Or is she talking to the woman in her forties and telling her…go for the dude with the beer gut and no hair? Cause, Ms. Gottlieb, you are scaring lots of women on multiple levels. Me in particular.

My goal in dating is simple. Have fun. If I start dating Mr. Boring…bye bye. But what's my settling point? Sure, men can always trade me in for the younger version of me…in their twenties. But is that what they really want? I tend to think I'm interesting, funny, and financially secure. So sue me.

She goes on to point out that so many women say "I would rather be alone than settle"…but the truth is they are alone and miserable…and still holding out for unrealistic standards.

So I examined a recent relationship:

This is the tale of forty-something Miles, and his twenty-something girlfriend Missy. I've been friends with Miles for a while but when he told me Missy dumped him for another guy "her age" -- I wasn't shocked, but Miles was. As his friend, I felt forced to tell Miles, "see you need to date someone your own age who doesn't play games." I wasn't angling for Miles (okay, I was a little). But honestly, I wasn't sure if I was attracted to him…yet. Beer gut, a couple kids, divorced…etc, he wasn't some carbon cut out of "perfect guy" but he was nice and we shared lots of the same interests.  Deep down I felt, Miles wanted a younger woman – so why would he "settle" for me. And why would I settle for Miles and all his "baggage"? (Again, he was divorced and not looking for a long term commitment.) So I gave him my sage advice to, "get out there and date and date someone who is a bit more mature than a twenty year old who is going to cheat on you." He gave me a smile…and we started dating. Yeah me! (Now…Ms. Gottlieb would say that Missy is going to dump Miles for now…and he'll move on and Missy will soon realize that he was "good enough" and come back. Meanwhile, I'm shoving Missy off the cliff and angling for her man…right?)

For me…as I date and unfortunately, keep getting older, I'm really looking for someone who makes me laugh and is their own individual and honestly…not boring. Sure I look past the beer gut, and I'm okay with the bald spot (both of which Miles has). And if that makes me a desperate dater…than so be it. But I don't ever feel I "settled" – I merely accepted the flaws of my partner…because we all have them sweetheart. No one is perfect. This I know is true.