The Work Date Dilemma

As the summer sun starts to heat up, so does my party schedule. For the perpetually single girl, this brings up the all important: Who will I bring as my date? As I’ve been working in Hollywood since graduating college, there is a blur of work friends and colleagues. I work with many of my friends, and the circle of who knows who is relatively small. Let’s face facts, people talk, so bringing a date to an event, he will inevitably be dubbed “your boyfriend” whether you want him to be or not.

Recently I was invited to a red carpet premiere and was scared to death. Did I walk the carpet with my new guy? (Literally we had been on two dates.) I opted to go solo and had a horrible time. Everyone was coupled up but me and I was utterly bored. Why couldn’t I take the new guy? Did I not want him to meet my friends? Did I think it was too much, too soon? Would he not gel with my friends?

When I first start dating someone, I’m internally thinking of my upcoming schedule and in my head seeing if I could take them to my next set of events.

Here’s some upcoming events: Charity event (will he be pressured to bid on silent auction items?); Babies first birthday (babies and men…no way); Malibu beach party (way too many perfect bodies, and mine isn’t one of them); Cousin’s wedding (ah, my family will be there – no way in hell); Writer’s Convention (he reads the sports page and that’s about it…he’ll be bored); Game night with a bunch of couples (maybe, but they will size us up…he might get the wrong impression); Wine tasting/cocktail party with work friends (maybe).

I’ve decided that married people do not understand how difficult it is for single people to go to these events. They have married their partner and hell or high water it is generally understood that he or she must follow tow and attend events as a couple.

I’ve gotten quite used to going to events solo for fear of the guy thinking we were a couple. (Again, once someone sees you with someone, they assume he is your “boyfriend” until you explain he’s just a friend, he’s gay, or he dumped you later on when he doesn’t show up to the next event.) I’ve always thought men thought the same thing as your friends -- if you take them to an event then I must “really” like him and want him to be “my boyfriend”. But honestly, that’s not always the case.

Can’t I just take you to an event because I need a date? And aren’t we dating?

Back in March I went to a series of fun Oscar parties with my manager. I am NOT dating him. (Repeat, we are not dating.) But I went to several parties with him as my date because I knew he’d know people and could, I dunno, sell my screenplays in the process! I can’t tell you how many of my colleagues asked me if we were a couple. It was as if I was doing my own damage control on the dating scene – “He’s my manager!” (And for the record, I love my manager -- I’m just not dating him.) Why did I take him over another guy I was actually dating? Probably because I knew my manager would push me to talk to business people far more than a “non-pro” date.

But I learned a big lesson: I can’t always go to events with my manager, or best friend, or gay friend, or whoever -- It’s time to actually take a real date. And that brings me back to the red carpet premiere…why didn’t I take the new guy?

Here’s the thing: I am not easily impressed. I’ve done an amazing amount of “cool” things in my lifetime. I’ve been around the world, sailed on yachts, dined at five star restaurants, and have stayed in serious luxury accommodations. So if a guy wants to tell me about his sports car and the amount his Rolex watch is…great. But I’m not overly impressed. (I also think it’s foolish for the amounts of money one can shell out for all these luxuries to um, try and impress women.)

So I guess when I’m inviting a date to a celebrity filled charity event, it’s as if I’m pulling up in my Mercedes – and I don’t want them to think I’m trying to impress them. I’m not…I just want a date. And maybe that’s what I’m grappling with…do I look like a snobby Hollywood girl if I’m taking them to a wrap party for a friends movie?

So what do I do? Do I keep taking my manager or do I go out on the limb and bring the new guy?

I guess there is no real answer here. Just a summation to get married, because then my partner will be forever forced to attend painfully boring red carpet events and he can become “Hollywood jaded” like me.