I was chatting with a friend of mine. She was frustrated. Yet another guy had dumped her. “I don’t get it. I have it all - a house, good credit, a nice car, and I’m fucking hot.”
While Grace* is correct about her many great attributes, what she didn’t realize is everyone might not want to be the “perfect girl”, people can relate more to a few flaws. Even your ex.
I used to fall into this trap. I’d go on the first date and talk about myself. I’d wax poetic about how fabulous I am. Let me tell you…it never worked. Men don’t want to hear my success. They wanted to know my flaws. So I learned to be humble.
I also practice humility in my writing. Recently, my editor told me “Your character is just too perfect and the story is a ‘the dream scenario’ -- who can relate to that? Tell me how if felt when he didn’t call the next day.”
I got it instantly.
When you let down the “try to impress them” walls, a real and honest person can emerge.
So I changed my tactics (dating and writing, that is). Found my voice to be relatable on all levels. I’m not impressed easily, and in fact it’s actually a turn off when I’m with the name dropper, financial stats giver, and the flashy car driver who reveals these things on a first date. Sure these things will eventually come up…but be humble. Even though Grace* self proclaimed herself as “super hot” -- I wasn’t crying for her when she got dumped, god knows there will be another guy in the wings soon.
Bottom line: If two people put up their “fabulous” fronts….how do they really get to know each other? I know I’m not perfect. For if I was, I’d have a man by now. But I’m humble and human…and of course, I have lots of flaws.
*Grace is not her real name.
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