The Science of Online Dating

The programmer/psychologist behind match.com and Yahoo Personals has a new book out Who Should You Have Sex With?: The Secrets to Great Sexual Chemistry Author Mark Thompson claims you will never find "Mr. or Mrs. Right on the internet" – Really? Why?

There is no exit interview.

Hum. Good point. He suggests there be some sort of exit interview (ala Netflix) that will help you narrow your search. And while we see numerous commercials with happy couples and their nuptials displayed all over the TV, in reality, many couples meet online, but one in ten actually make a couple.

So does that mean I have to go through ten dates before I find Mr. Okay to date?

This has me dreaming of some exit interview multi-million dollar online dating company to start up (yes, I did just see The Social Network)…would that work? And honestly, are couples really connected through some sort of mathematic equation figured out by psychologists and computer programmers? I thought finding a mate was through face-to-face connections? You just increase your odds by actually going out and meeting new people. No?

Here's the truth. I'm a social butterfly. I have a number of friends. But…somewhere in my dating life, I was way too into my job/life to actually look at men as date-able objects. Then one day, I turned around and everyone was married. And now I go out with my friends and they have no single men to set me up with. And I often wonder…how did this happen? When did this happen? And how do I find someone? Pronto.

Enter internet dating.

Now I will admit, I've met a few guys I just didn't click with after a first or second date. No problem. You just get back on the horse. But the thing I like…I am actually meeting new people who are single. Compare that to the "old days" of being set up by friends, meeting men in bars, or *gasp* answering a personal ad – volume doesn't actually mean more quality, but I am having way more fun and it's relatively easy.

So Mr. Thompson…your "overpromised and under-delivered" results in online dating sites might ring true for many, but I for one, am happy too actually meet single men. Because I don't know where they are in my town – and my guess is, I'll find more single men on the internet than I will anywhere else.

HC