Signs and signals

I think dating needs its own form of traffic signals. I mean really…men say we are hard to figure out… quite frankly…I think the same thing. Men…who gets them?

I've been thrown a few mixed signals in my day. The classic is "I'll call you" – um…do we give a deadline? What's the timeframe please? A week shows he's interested. A day…he's stalking? A month means…he's unorganized and found your card in a pair of jeans…but not interested other than screwing you?

I'm a more 'to the point' kind of gal. I recently told a guy, if you like me…I want to know. I only want men who want me. This led to a nice make out session at the end of the night. But has he stepped up to the plate? Not really. Mixed signals.

Guys have never been one to communicate much. They hold things in…are they nervous? This I can't figure out. Let me let you in on something…women over analyze everything. We call our girlfriends, sisters, cousins, co-workers and discuss your every move. Especially in the beginning…we are truly trying to figure out if you like us. In the meantime, don't try and figure us out. Just ask us out. If you like us…. Call us…and call often…even if you have nothing to say. If we don't really know if we like you. Trust me, we will, in return… give subtle clues if we like you. It's that simple. Let's start dating.

So let's run down the signals:

He calls within a week and says "are you available to get together for a drink": this is a GREEN LIGHT. He likes you…if you like him. Call him back. No rules. No three days to call him back. You got his text. Call him and go out. Easy.

He calls, but doesn't make a plan…it's along the lines of "it was great meeting you…what are you doing this week…": YELLOW LIGHT. Proceed with caution. He's stringing along a number of ladies and thinking which is best. He is mildly interested but keeping options open. So again…proceed with caution.

He doesn't call for weeks after you met him then suddenly, he sends you an email/text etc. that's he's free tonight can you meet up. Um…he was dumped and looking for a booty call. Don't do it. RED LIGHT. Be smarter than that. And kindly respond with, "I'm busy tonight, but can do…(three days later)" -- if he responds with "great…let's go to XXX bar" – go with the assumption of a yellow light; if he doesn't respond well…you know what that means. Bye bye booty call.

I'm currently navigating my own mixed signals…and I'm not sure what I read…so truly I shouldn't call myself some expert. But…I try…I'm here for you all. Really I am and I care. Feel the love.

HC