Transition Song

I got a call from my best friend Wendy today. She had to call me because our "transition song" came on the radio

Backstory: We went to Europe about ten years ago, and we had a CD with ONE song on it. It became our "transition song" while we looked for another CD to stick in the CD player. The transition song was… Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me".

The irony here is….I got dumped by a guy this weekend which I "couldn't make him love me."

I needed this laugh.

It is my belief that when one is "dating" they do just that…date…and date many. As another friend has put it… is there a ring on your finger? To which I usually respond with a big fat NO. So this guy wasn't the only person I was "dating" – that said, I never mentioned it to him. But is that wrong?

I don't think so. That's what dating is? Trying to figure out if you love someone…right?

This guy I had been seeing had told me he liked a chase. So I was seeing if he was actually going to step up to the plate and chase me (…a little game I played unsuccessfully I must admit…because I did like him and was JUST starting to fall for him when he dropped the bomb.) Anyway, after a really nice hike on Saturday, I was sensing a little departure from him…he wasn't his chatty self, he tells me "I'm kinda seeing someone else" – ouch. Really?

Was he being polite? Is he in "love"? And why did he feel the need to tell me I was number 2?

It was weird…and he left the door open. So why did he feel the need to tell me?

All he did tell me is that he's been on two dates with this other woman and well…they messed around and he didn't want to hurt me.

Did I give off the sense that I wanted to know this? Truth be told, I had told him early on in our "dating" was that "I want someone who wants me."

So somewhere in the chain he must have thought he was the only one I was "dating" and he wanted me to know he was interested in someone else so I didn't get hurt. But in reality. I wish he hadn't said anything. Because now…I don't want to be his number 2. I'm not a consolation prize. I have pretty high self esteem. He made his choice. And obviously…its not me. If it doesn't work out with this other girl, I don't really want him to call. I want him to realize, he screwed up and he told me too early on that he was dating someone else (when he had only been on two dates with her. Again….I'm not a number two.)

Bottom line: He should have stepped up and chased me if he really wanted me. Truth be told, I have others who might just love me. But right now…I'm allowing the chase. I am worthy. And well…"I can't make you love me." And I feel I'm just in another transition. All you others..time to step up.