Happy Valentine’s Day – Or Not

Last year I bitched and moaned about the guy I thought I was dating, who was too chicken shit to give me a card.  This year…I got breakfast in bed. What a difference a year makes.  Someone actually appreciates me. Wow.

My boyfriend and I didn’t really want to go out and buy each other cheesy gifts, so we came to a compromise…we took the day off and went to watch the LA Galaxy soccer team play a practice game. (My BF loves soccer.)

Now the only thing better than watching the Superbowl for me, was watching David Beckham’s H&M underwear commercial in slow motion (multiple times).  So my gift to all of my readers is…well…here’s the pics I took this morning.

Happy Valentine’s Day.  (And thank you Victoria for not showing up with your four beautiful children.)

Heidi

The Sex-Texter

Have you ever dated a Sex-texter?  You know, the guy who likes to only send you dirty messages?  (And I’m not talking about dirty pictures…just words…in a text.)  
I’ve been down the path with several sex-texters in my dating life…and at first I was turned off.  (Scary, creepy, pervert, yucky.)  But what I’ve learned is…most guys like a little sex-texting.  (Stay with me here.)
Usually I’ve preferred my written sex text in a romance novel.  The build up, the pages and pages of throbbing body parts, the tension, the pressure, the trembling feeling they had never had before.  It’s all just fantastic to read before bedtime.
My girls in my book club suggested I read a historical romance called  The Captain of All Pleasuresfor the pinnacle of romance writing…and well…swashbuckling cheesiness aside…it was a fun read.  (Especially when I would read passages aloud to my boyfriend in bed).  I would giggle as I read the bodice ripper and he’d roll his eyes at me thinking I enjoyed the drama of it all.    (I’m currently devouring  Fifty Shades of Grey…um… love it.)
Which brings me back to sex-texting.  I’ve never thought it was that sexy. 
Now that I’ve been living with my boyfriend for awhile, I’ve learned…he thinks about sex quite a lot.  And as a woman, I personally… don’t.  Women like the drama.  If we want it, we seek it out, but if not in the mood, we can roll over, fall asleep…or rather pretend to be asleep.  
But when I boiled it down…my boyfriend doesn’t want five pages of drawn out sex talk…he wants two lines of sex-texting.
I polled my friends and I got every answer:
“Gross”
“Sexy”
“Serial killer”
“How long have you known him?”
So I ask: Is sex-texting a turn on or a turn off? Afterall, there are two people doing the sex-texting…. It’s not just him.  I participate too…and if I’m having weird feelings, does he have them about me too? Am I slutty for sex texting?
I was somewhat reluctant to talk to my sister about this topic.  Was I actually embarrassed?  But is it normal to “sex-text” your man?
Her response was priceless: “All guys need a little sex-texting.”
She was curt and to the point. He wasn’t a serial killer, he wasn’t a pervert, he was a guy…and “guys like to talk about sex and don’t want a timid shy girl they have to talk into sex every time they are ready…and let’s face facts, guys are pretty ready all the time.” 
Really?  It’s not weird?  “Not at all.” – Eureka.  My sister had been sex-texting with her man too. Whew.  I wasn’t the only one!
My sister protected sex-texting men stating, “He’s just trying to see if she’ll be the type of girl who will have sex with him down the line.  Sex-texters are not weird, they’re  guys.”
My girlfriends weren’t so convinced.  “….this totally creeps out,” was the generic response. 
So my unscientific bottom line: If you are the type of person who is not comfortable with their sexuality and sensual self.  Well…then sex-texting is going to be an issue.  There needs to be a balance.  If you are afraid/timid to talk about sex, then sex-texting is not for you.  Sometimes it might be too pre-mature to jump into the sex-texting with a guy you’ve only known for a short while, but ultimately you have to feel comfortable with men to sex-text with them.  Personally, I found my first Sex-texter generally normal and well…dare I say, sexy.  So why not see if he’ll be a good partner down the line by a little pre-sex-texting session?  And think to yourself, do you want a timid lover?

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Well you’ve done good.

While last year I asked for a man to be wrapped and placed under my tree…I realize it took you a bit longer to send him to me. I knew it when I met him that he was your belated gift because one of our first dates was…where else? Under a tree in a forest wrapped up in many blankets.

So I have to say thank you Santa. You sent me the person I have been looking for. He’s not annoyed that I write about men and dates…(in fact, I think he kinda enjoys it.) When I took him to Tiffany’s…he made a purchase in an instant. No doe eyes, no looking at him longingly. He just did it. (I know Santa…where did you find him? I’m assuming Mrs. Claus had something to do with it…after all, I have learned from her…a way to a man’s heart is always through a plate of cookies.)

But honestly Santa…I think the reason this relationship is working is because this man can make me laugh at pretty much anything. (If not, I’m usually just laughing at myself.) But even when we have arguments, we discuss things like adults, admit our faults and nagging ways, and move through all conflict resolution like adults…(maybe I really did need all that time.)

You gave me hope, Santa. You let me find happiness even when I started to doubt the process. (But I will say…dating lots of different people has inspired so many stories for my novels!)

So Santa, this year I’ll tell you what I would like….I’d like you to spread the love and set up a couple friends of mine. I have been very good (I know you have been watching) and I think my friends deserve love too. So wrap up a couple of well mannered men and stick them under their trees, and if they aren’t there on Christmas morning…I’ll tell them to do some tree hugging.

Because it worked for me.

So Santa, I will see you bright and early Saturday night while I share a cozy fireplace moment with my BF. Then you can come down the chimney, we’ll share a mocha, and chat about who has been naughty and nice -- Maybe partake in a glass of sherry before you take off for the night. Then my Stud Muffin and I will look up into the sky and see your flickering sleigh ride across our night sky…and we will reflect at how truly we lucky to have found each other.

Thank you again Santa… You’re the best. And MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Love,

Heidi

Street Walking (And not like that..head out of gutter please.)



I’m usually not the one to wake up early on a Sunday, don my walking shoes, and hit the cold streets of Hollywood…but on Sunday, December 4th, I joined KCET (a local Los Angeles Community based TV Station) viewers on the Art Deco Tour of Hollywood as part of their new program “The SoCal Adventure” (formally called, “That Something Special”).

My M.O. in Hollywood is usually sipping drinks at swanky bars, but on this particular morning, I was looking at the outside of one of my favorite eateries Beso (Hi Eva Longoria), in a whole new light…as a preservationist, as a student of architecture…and quite frankly, as a tourist in my home town.

It was a lively bunch as our host, John Thomas, the President of the Art Deco Society, had us zig zaging the streets, learning new terms like “chervons”; “sunbursts” and “flora” motifs. We were asked to look for “water spouts” and “Egyptian influences.” We learned about the design moderne style (that would be Beso’s look) and we walked past well preserved store fronts, and those that had been abandoned for some time and needed some serious TLC.

A highlight was looking at the Wilcox Library which had just received a fresh coat of paint, and of course, the Egyptian theater which is now run by American Cinematheque which has a great calendar of events coming up. http://www.americancinematheque.com/

But most importantly, at this time of year when my feet are usually sore from my mall haul, I was glad to participate in something a bit more cultural, hang with freinds, and get a new view of Hollywood…or maybe not new, but I’m able to view it with new eyes or appreciation.  As I drove away from Hollywood, I sat at a light in front of the famous Wiltern Theater (at Wilshire and Western) and wouldn't you know what was looking back at me?  Sunbursts, water fountain motifs...and lots of lots of chevrons.  I secretly chuckled to myself...the art deco influences were all around me and I never even stopped to notice them before. 

For more information on the Art Deco Society of Los Angeles: adsla.org

For more information on KCET…visit KCET.org

Stay tuned…I’m heading to more events soon.





Wilcox Library







Out in front of the Pantages Theater



Hollywood and Vine...Apartment Building in the Art Deco Style



Looking up at the sights.





Our guide John Thomas