Spouse Swap

Here's another watercooler issue:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html

Have you heard about the recent New York Times story wherein a blissful couple chatted it up on how they met and then had their tale spread over the pages of the newspaper? I love a good love story, (Who doesn't love a good love story?) and read about their wedded bliss with much merriment, until I started listen to talk radio. Well…I'll tell you…scorned women did not like this story.

You see this couple met at various events with their children, ballet classes, baseball games, pre-school pick up. It's unclear who was flirting with who, but what is true is both were married to other people during the flirtatious rounds. This couple claims that "nothing happened" while they were married. Hum…ever hear of the "emotional cheating" phrase. (Okay, Jennifer Anniston…here's your opportunity to tell us what really went down…)

So while this couple wants us to believe that their actions were just innocent, scorned ex-wives are down right pissed. So what they did…was it wrong or innocent?

I'm not judging here, but with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, if things aren't going great in a marriage, do you really think he isn't looking?

Recently a friend of mine invited me out for coffee wherein she had to tell me "something" (yeah…a red flag went up.) My friend is single and in her 40's, never married. She tells me she's met someone, with whom she truly adores…BUT (yep, here it comes) he's married. My friend had polled many of her friends and confesses to me that 75% of her friends have dated (or at least gone out with) someone who was married. This "fact" shocked me. Really? Her "facts" were a bit off kilter to me, but then again, what do I know? Maybe someone I've dated has been married and they never told me? My friend claims that their meeting was innocent. He told her he was married, but he was attracted to her. A friendship started and both did not expect to fall in love.

It happened to another friend of mine. She met a guy online who was not wholly truthful. They dated for a few weeks, slept with each other, and then she found out…he was married. (She then broke it off with him…) Which always makes me put up some guard, than if a man isn't happy in his relationship…he's out there looking. When he finds something, he'll break it off (or so he says.)

Now, back to the New York couple….I completely understand the pissed off scorned wife syndrome out there. I would be pretty mad if my husband started dating a friend of my child's with whom he met at the Christmas Choir event I couldn't make due to work, but I would also have to re-examine the cracks in my relationship and see if there was something worth saving. If I was completely blindsided and we were a blissful couple (and really…what couple is that happy?) then yeah, I'd be pissed.

Just as Jennifer Anniston was apparently blindsided when Brad had an emotional affair with Angelina and then divorced Jen…yeah, I get it. But Jen…were you on the set with him everyday? Or were you off making your own film? Relationships take work and it goes both ways.

So watch for those cracks that can become craters…and keep one eye open.