Sexy Halloween

Halloween is the one day out of the year when we all get to dress up and look like utter fools doing normal activities.  As I write this blog, I’m sitting here in my “Heidi” costume wearing a low cut sort of “beer wench” outfit and have been asked what restaurant I work at. 

But when I first got dressed this morning, and revealed my outfit for my boyfriend .  He did a double take…he sure loves a costume.   

What is it about costumes that get men aroused? 

Ask any man, and their eyes will light up when they talk about their favorite costumes.  I talked with a couple of male colleagues and their general consensus was that they like it when women dress up like superheroes.  Really, they want me to dress in some Linda Carter Wonder Woman briefs, with gold cuffs and high lace up boots?    

So I asked my boyfriend, what day did you know that I was the one for you? His answer: “The day I came up to visit you and you had on your kitty cat outfit.”  Ah yes, the sexy kitten costume, another male favorite.  That’s always a good one but is it me, or is every costume some sort of “sexy” something?  And do men really need costumes to get going?

Head to any costume shop and you’ll find the sexy superhero, sexy witch, sexy Dorothy, sexy Little Red Riding Hood, sexy nurse, sexy pirate and the list goes on and on.  Apparently, yes…guys want to see their girls in low cut inapproatriate office attire, and if it’s one day out of the year…fine.

Honestly, I used to not dress up.  Or if I did dress up, I’d make my own, non-sexy costume.  In fact, I once went out with a bunch of friends as a group on the Titanic.  We had Jack and Rose, Unsinkable Molly Brown…and me…as the Titanic ship and I even had an iceberg made of Styrofoam. We were the hit of every party. 

Sexy?  No. Funny, yes!  But, it did not get me a date.

So I‘ve learned a few things over the years.  Men like costumes. Sexy costumes.  That is why they are so abundantly available at every costume stores.  So if that’s your intension this Halloween…put on your inner sex kitten and hit the town.  Or you can always go down as the Titanic. 

Nonetheless, I like to dress up, do a little role play for my BF.  So if those costume shops start having a sale tomorrow…I might pick up a small stockpile.  Right now, this Heidi-Bar-maid-wench needs to abide auf wiedersehen and head out to do some trick or treating.  

Have a fun and safe Halloween.

Dump Time

I know, I know….there are two questions on everyone’s mind.


1) When is your book coming out?

2) Why aren’t you blogging?

Answers:

1) Not sure. Every publisher goes on vacation for the summer and I’ve been out of the loop. But I’m working on that answer soon!

2) Um, its summer and I’ve been lazy in the blog-o-sphere…been trying to finish two scripts and two books. Not to mention, working on a TV show, currently living with my boyfriend (insert, doing his laundry and general clean-up of a guy).

But here I am…ready to chat about dating, relationships and reality shows. First of all…reality shows. Let me just say, I’m a fan of Emily and Jef (with one f), I’m obsessed with “Miss Advised” (great casting -- those girls are all train wrecks), and for my friend (and former guy I dated Troy)…dude…what’s up with your show “Basketball Wives” and Evelyn and Chad? My TV viewing has seriously been in overdrive this summer…but as with most of us, back to school time usually means, back to work. (and back to the mall for new clothes, but I digress).

Okay, down to business. Let’s discuss dating. I have heard from many of you. Thanks for the emails…keep’em coming.

Recently a reader *Claire wrote to me for a little dating intervention. Her plea was simple. She’s been living with her boyfriend, and knows in her heart of heart he’s not “the one” but refuses to break up with him because that’s a lot of work. Claire has been dating her boyfriend Terence for just over two years. They moved in together after only knowing each other for two months. At first it was great. The money she was saving was fantastic and well, it was fun with her younger boy toy. But over the months, Terence has been driving her nuts, and now they are just two passing ships in the night. Claire last relationship was long term and she knows she doesn’t want to marry Terence. And she wouldn’t mind being a lone for a while, but she’s too lazy to actually break up with him. She laments to me that he’s a nice guy…but she’s just not in love with him.

Sound familiar?

Claire is already resenting Terence and it’s not getting any better. Honestly Claire, you sound a bit lazy (that’s ok…because you see, I’ve been lazy all summer). But here’s the thing -- Why can't you break up and be roommates…Why drag it on and pretend you are in a relationship?

I hear you responding already: “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Look…for all the men I’ve dated out there, when they told me “It’s just not there” and dumped me. I was totally grateful for their honesty.  While I might have shed a few initial tears, trust me when I tell you I was happy it didn’t drag on.

Claire, it’s time to live alone. (You said it you've never lived alone and that you've always had a man in your life.) See what it’s like. You might hate it and miss Terence. You might find someone completely new and better than him too. Right now, you are stuck in a rut. Move on girlfriend. And buy that pink couch and be all girlie for once...because you can.

Be proactive. He wants your honest answer, not this “not knowing and passing ship” scenario you’ve created.

If you need space and have never allowed yourself space, aren’t you going to be upset and mad at him if you’ve never given yourself space?

It’s time to be truthful with him, tell him he’s not “the one” and go from there. You might be much happier being friends and or roommates.

But, right now, I need to fold my honey's laundry.

HC
*Names have been changed.

Geek Love

Every year I make a list of what I want in a man.  I write it down, put it into the universe and hope that someday, this imaginary man will float into my life. 

One item that has remained on my list (since I started making lists) was I wanted someone who enjoyed to play board games.  Hear me out on this… my sister and I have been Scrabble addicts for quite some time.  There isn’t a day when I’m not far away from a Scrabble board or Bananagrams (another fav).  For me, these word games are challenging and good exercise for the brain.  My sister and I have carted our games pretty much anywhere (Irish bars, cruise ships, coffee shops, and mom’s house to name a few.)

When I started dating my boyfriend, I was pleased to learn… he was an avid gamer too.  Some of our first “dates” were playing Cribbage over our cellphones while chatting via Skype.  Sure it was a bit dorky, but it kept us on the “phone” and he was learning I wasn’t just some dumb blonde.

Then, back in February, my boyfriend took our “gaming” dates to a new level and he dragged me to a Gaming Convention (Stategicon).  Now, I know what you are thinking.  That’s pretty dorky.  Sure the hotel ballroom was crawling with self-professed geeks, dorks, social outcasts, weirdos in costumes, and D&D enthusiasts.  I will not lie; BUT, so there were also TONS of what looked like “socially normal” men.  (FYI – The ratio of men to women was about 20-1 odds…Sweet.)

As I walked through the halls of the Gaming Convention and I saw signs like “Role Players”; “Miniatures” and “RPGs” – I was acutely aware I was not in Hollywood anymore; I was in geek heaven and in my own episode of “The Big Bang Theory”. 

Now, I will note: I was also on a mission.  I was there to learn about this subculture and interview individuals as part of a local TV show I was producing for an upcoming segment.  While I interviewed these gamers, I grew to like them even more.  They didn’t care that people thought they were different; they embraced their passion.

Here’s some other tidbits I learned about gamers…Game playing: improves math skills, utilizes your imagination, helps you solve problems (and figure out mysteries better), keeps you social with like-minded players…and bottom line….it’s FUN.  As a writer and all around creative type, while I hate math, I love strategy and solving mysteries.  These people got me and I got them.

I learned about LARPers (Live-Action Role Players) and GURPS (Generic Universal Role Playing System)…while I wasn’t about to don a costume, these “players” knew their stuff about characters and problem solving better then some of my favorite writers. These “players” were actually writing their own games, on the spot and diving into characterization.  It was like novels coming to life. I found this revelation bizarre yet fun at the same time! 

Bottom line, it was an eye opening adventure.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and embraced a whole new level of games and the gaming society.  They taught me not to judge the differences but embrace them.  Be free to play games and step into fantasy.  After all, I’ve fallen in love with a gamer and that’s exactly what I always wanted.  

Casting Call

I received this email (in an email chain) and thought I'd pass it along.  I will let you know, that I think dating on TV is RIDICULOUS...but hey, if traditional pathes aren't working for you.  Go for it. - HC

CASTING SINGLE WOMEN IN THE PURSUIT OF TRUE LOVE

We are searching NATIONWIDE for single women 21-50 years of age, all ethnicities, who are dynamic, outgoing and DETERMINED to find Mr. Right and get MARRIED for a new TV show for a major cable network.

* Are you ready to find Mr. Right and get married?
* Do you want to get married so much you can already picture your wedding day in your head?
* Maybe you're even planning it already, but just need Mr. Right to make it all complete?

If you're determined to find the right guy and start your life together, we want to hear from you!

There is pay if you are selected to be on the show, and we may even contribute to the cost of your wedding!

Filming will be minimal and accomodating to your schedule, and will be completely non-invasive.

If you want to be on this new docu-series about modern-day women in their pursuit of true love, contact us now!

TO SUBMIT:
Be sure to mention you heard about this from Jeff Gund at INFOLIST.com for priority consideration, and email ALL the information requested below ASAP to:
SaveTheDateShow@gmail.com
Be sure to include:
1. Your name (first and last)
2. Age
3. Contact phone number
4. City/State where you live
5. A brief paragraph about yourself, and why you're ready to get married
6. Two recent photos (jpg format please)
7. Be sure to mention you heard about this from Jeff Gund at INFOLIST.com for priority consideration!