What About Prom?

The other day, I was minding my own business writing at a coffee shop. It was around 4:00pm in the “after school hours” and I watched a couple of teens saddle into the seats next to me. While I had my earphones on, I had the volume on low. (I love overhearing conversations, especially young love.)

“Um, so, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” she asked. I felt like I was right back in highschool.

Here’s a shocker. I too asked a boy to prom.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Brian, a rebel, had been suspended from our school. I’m not sure why he was back on campus, but I totally remember asking him to prom in the parking lot and climbing the steps to yell to my bestie Kathy, “He said YES!”

There is something about prom season that brings me right back to high school. The pressure to find a date, the memories it creates, the moves he’s going to make, the bad corsages, the horrible posed pictures. It’s like the world’s worst first date, but a rite of passage at the same time.

Brian didn’t rent a limo, and we didn’t have that awkward moment at my parent’s house where they gushed over us. He was ‘low key’ -- we met at the venue.

Look, I knew then that Brian wasn’t that into me, but it didn’t deter the butterflies in my stomach. After all, I was just happy he said yes, and I was hopeful.

Looking back now, dating “Brian’s” was a pattern for me. I’d develop a huge crush, they knew it, and I’d let them treat me like crap. I had seriously low self esteem.

I sort of wish I could return to prom as an adult. I would do things much more differently and I have so much more self confidence. First, I would avoid Brian (and all other Brian-types), and find a date that actually wanted to go with me. One who wanted to be with me.

But as I’m examining the teens sitting next to me, I can see the same pattern. He’s not making eye contact, told her, “I’m not sure,” and now they are sitting there sipping their drinks in utter silence. (I so want to tell this girl that he’s not that into her…but alas...I’m mute.) Times have not changed.

(Oh and because I know you are all curious: This guy is not that “hot” on the “hot-ness” wheel of teen-dom. He might have some street cred on campus, I’m not sure. My guess is, he’s waiting to get a better offer. The girl on the other hand is far better looking, and I so want to tell her this, because she’s not going to believe her parents, when she tells them he said NO.)

Here’s what I know for sure: Yes, you have to put yourself out there if you want to find love. Yes, guys measure us up. Yes, you will get rejected more than accepted. Love hasn’t changed. Respect hasn’t changed. And you know…prom hasn’t changed. It’s still an awkward night. (Who wear ball gowns to dinners? Yes, we are all looking at you.) Have self confidence and don’t worry if you just go with friends. The thing is. Go. Cause you’ll be talking about it many years later.

And Brian if you are out there…. I’m still single. (But I’m not waiting for you to call.)