Create Your Team

I heard a great story today. A friend of mine has a friend who recently got engaged. "Congratulations…how did you meet?" And the answer wasn't what she expected.

Here's the tale: Woman A was sitting at her favorite bar/country club. Woman B walks in and is waiting for her boyfriend of six months to finish his round of golf…chats it up with Woman A. "My boyfriend is the best, brings me flowers, super at tentative, the perfect man I've dated in years…" says Woman B .

I know you know where this is going…..

Well Woman A has her game on. After Woman B has left the building, Woman A tells the bartender when so-and-so boyfriend of Woman B shows up at the country club to call her. She also tells this info to the valet (in case the bartender falls short). You guessed it…the boyfriend shows up. Woman A gets a call and flirts with the guy. They chat and have a great conversation. He ends up dumping Woman B and dating Woman A….and now, they are engaged.

We've all done it. Bragged about our great guys and we've also bitched about our bad guys. But you never really know the company you're keeping. A single desperate woman could be in your mist. But was it wrong of Woman A to, ahhhhh, nag a great guy? If this guy sounded too good to be true, and hadn't yet proposed to Woman B…was he fair game? Or was Woman A a boyfriend stealer?

Now….I love this story. Because it's the story of a great guy…not knowing he's a great guy…and the desperate women who well…fought or lost him.

Now, Woman A was a smart cookie. Upon hearing about this "great guy" she used her connections at the bar (and apparently in town) to spread her worthiness. She was available and wanted to also be a great girlfriend and now, wife. She was prepared…we don't know if Woman B was.

So this made me re-examine my own life and dating world. Am I prepared for a relationship? Do I have everything together to be a good and supportive partner? Answer: For the right guy. You bet I am.

I used to think getting married and being in a relationship was all about finances. We must come to the table as equal partners. Well, that's a myth. Then I thought, oh, I must lose ten pounds and look fantastic, that will work. Wrong again. It's really a head game. Are you ready to be emotionally there for one another? Are you that perfect fit with him and he with you? Sometimes this takes time to figure out, and sometimes it just clicks.

Now, if I was at the bar and heard about someone's "perfect guy" tale…I don't know if I have enough game to plot my "steal" – but I do like the idea of having a "team" tell great guys about me.

So think about what team you would create. Maybe co-workers, members of your church, family, people you know from charity groups, or similar interests groups, bartenders and valets and of course good friends. If you hear about a great guy…someone is bound to know him too in your circle. Enlist your friends to talk about you and call you when he happens to be spotted out and about. Get your game on and be prepared. The prepared girl, it seems, gets the guy.

Good luck.