Color My World

If there were a crowd of hipsters at a club, I’d be the one in a bright colored dress in the middle of the dance floor.
I have always chosen the rosy path and live my life with a glass half full. Sure I own a black dress, but its polka dotted and I wear it with five-inch hot pink heels.

When it comes to wardrobe: I am not boring.

I think I was around twenty two when I started to develop my own sense of style. Fresh out of college (and a wardrobe straight from The Gap) I was working as a Development Executive for a production company and one of the VP’s (Nancy) always came in wearing these brightly colored sundresses. The other executives had perfect designer suits tailored to their bodies, but not Nancy. She’d breeze into the office in colorful florals, dizzying prints, and a cornucopia of relaxed fabrics.

I thought she was the coolest. When she had a big network meeting, she didn’t care. She wore her sundresses and always sold her projects. There was no “dress for success” attitude, she formed her own demeanor and executives always thought she was so comfortable and relaxed and they wanted to emulate Nancy too.

When it came time to pitch my first project to the big TV Network executives, I didn’t have the confidence to wear something so funky as Nancy. So I went out and purchased a (ahem) boring Jones New York suit. It was awkward and ill fitting. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable and the project didn’t sell.

I finally got up the guts to approach Nancy in the break room and ask her where she shopped…. “Polkadots and Moonbeams,” she returned. I went the next day to the small little hipster joint on 3rd Avenue near the Beverly Center and purchased my first “Nancy-esque” sundress and it all started…forming my sense of style.

Now I have nothing against the staple duds one finds at J. Crew and Ann Taylor. I have a few of their staples mixed into my wardrobe, but it’s the hunt to find something original that really makes my heart go pitter pat.

This sense of style has continued into my “dating” wardrobe. I have a few fun outfits to wear on first dates, some more revealing duds to show “I’m interested”, and of course some conservative clothing with a little spice for the “meet the boss/parents” dates. But everything started with feeling comfortable with what I had on. If I was forced to wear something that “wasn’t me” …it never goes well.

Whether you get inspired by someone on TV (I’m sure Sarah Jessica Parker has sold oodles of Manolos and funky mismatch short shorts for designers) or you like the way a pop star sets a trend. Try things out. One does not need to accept the boring suits trended by the executive ranks. You will stand out if you put your best dressed foot forward.

Live outside the box every once in a while, everyone always remembers the stand out.

Wedding Dates

With the Royal Wedding hoopla behind us…I have my own set of blissful events to attend. And here’s the rite of passage for the single girl: To attend a wedding solo. (In my case: Again.)


There are a couple of things I will admit to:

I’m jealous. You got a great guy and I love him and think you are a great couple. BUT I really do wish it was my wedding. The tears streaming down my face are not because I’m so damn happy for you. I’m mulling over all the guys I’ve dated and wondering why they never pulled the trigger. (Oh and I’m at your wedding solo and everyone else is married, brought a date or is ugly.)

I have taken the “friend date” who was acting like a boyfriend. I’ve taken male friends who were married (told to not wear rings), co workers (with whom I had to take them to a fine dinner for wasting an entire Saturday to go to your wedding), gay men (great dates…love the “acting as a couple” thing, and let’s face it, they can dance), and good male friends (who promised to go as long as the alcohol was free and they could watch the game.) I always made certain exceptions as long as I got a couple kisses, hand holding and maybe a slow dance.

I wanted to scream “Don’t do it” during the “….speak now or forever hold your peace” speech. I held my peace until they got divorced.

Thought your dress made your ass look huge. Unless you are a size two, please rethink they “fish tail” look. You really look like a satin sausage.

I hooked up with someone at your wedding. It was my “Wedding Crashers” moment. There…it’s been admitted.

It was a lovely event. Nice rent-a-hall. Oh and you’re totally inappropriate relatives are wasted and starting the Macarena. It wasn’t that fun…no matter how many people were dancing.

I left with a guy I didn’t bring to your wedding. This was the case when I asked my gay friend as my date to a wedding. I conveniently got a ride from the single guy I was flirting with at our table. Gay friend totally got it and left early. (His duties were done…and he was the best wing man ever.)

I have actually been dating someone and took them to your wedding. One word: torture. First, every guy thinks we are picturing our own walk down the aisle. Okay…we are. But, I usually tell my boyfriends of the time, “No Pressure”. But look: everyone knows…wedding attendance usually means women will sleep with you. So come to a happy medium. Play along with us…and let’s be happy for the blissful couple in front of us. But let’s go to the room once they cut the damn cake.

All this to say that I have three weddings to attend this summer season….Who wants to go with me?

What About Prom?

The other day, I was minding my own business writing at a coffee shop. It was around 4:00pm in the “after school hours” and I watched a couple of teens saddle into the seats next to me. While I had my earphones on, I had the volume on low. (I love overhearing conversations, especially young love.)

“Um, so, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” she asked. I felt like I was right back in highschool.

Here’s a shocker. I too asked a boy to prom.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Brian, a rebel, had been suspended from our school. I’m not sure why he was back on campus, but I totally remember asking him to prom in the parking lot and climbing the steps to yell to my bestie Kathy, “He said YES!”

There is something about prom season that brings me right back to high school. The pressure to find a date, the memories it creates, the moves he’s going to make, the bad corsages, the horrible posed pictures. It’s like the world’s worst first date, but a rite of passage at the same time.

Brian didn’t rent a limo, and we didn’t have that awkward moment at my parent’s house where they gushed over us. He was ‘low key’ -- we met at the venue.

Look, I knew then that Brian wasn’t that into me, but it didn’t deter the butterflies in my stomach. After all, I was just happy he said yes, and I was hopeful.

Looking back now, dating “Brian’s” was a pattern for me. I’d develop a huge crush, they knew it, and I’d let them treat me like crap. I had seriously low self esteem.

I sort of wish I could return to prom as an adult. I would do things much more differently and I have so much more self confidence. First, I would avoid Brian (and all other Brian-types), and find a date that actually wanted to go with me. One who wanted to be with me.

But as I’m examining the teens sitting next to me, I can see the same pattern. He’s not making eye contact, told her, “I’m not sure,” and now they are sitting there sipping their drinks in utter silence. (I so want to tell this girl that he’s not that into her…but alas...I’m mute.) Times have not changed.

(Oh and because I know you are all curious: This guy is not that “hot” on the “hot-ness” wheel of teen-dom. He might have some street cred on campus, I’m not sure. My guess is, he’s waiting to get a better offer. The girl on the other hand is far better looking, and I so want to tell her this, because she’s not going to believe her parents, when she tells them he said NO.)

Here’s what I know for sure: Yes, you have to put yourself out there if you want to find love. Yes, guys measure us up. Yes, you will get rejected more than accepted. Love hasn’t changed. Respect hasn’t changed. And you know…prom hasn’t changed. It’s still an awkward night. (Who wear ball gowns to dinners? Yes, we are all looking at you.) Have self confidence and don’t worry if you just go with friends. The thing is. Go. Cause you’ll be talking about it many years later.

And Brian if you are out there…. I’m still single. (But I’m not waiting for you to call.)

Urgh…Dating

I’ve had some friends recently tell me that they admire how many dates I go on. Am I not the norm? What are you people doing at home?

For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve always been a social person. I was that kid on the playground, who’d go up to strangers and ask them if they wanted to play. It’s just how I am. I feel the same way in my dating life. I go out and meet a lot of men…some I continue to date, some I never hear from again, and some I might not “fall in love” but, develop friendships. I’m social. So kill me. I like meeting new people.

But not everyone I meet becomes a relationship.

When I usually reveal I’m a “romance writer” I get a varied reaction. Usually it starts with “cool” – but when I tell them I maintain a blog called “Dating in La La Land” they somewhat freak out. Here’s the thing, while I might write about “my dates” in this blog…I always have approval from the men beforehand.

The script usually goes something like this “I’m a romance writer”

And they respond with: “I could tell you some stories….”

And then they go on to tell me about the horrible women they’ve dated. But it’s not just the men….my girlfriends tell me too.

For example: My friend Laura went out with a guy, who when he hopped off the counter stool revealed he was a dwarf.

My friend Craig had a women use another photograph as her profile pic and flew in to meet him from out-of-town. She thought this ambush would work on him. (Right, like he’d be fine with a total stranger staying with him for three days). Craig, the utter gentleman, took her to a hotel.

One of my dates told me about the girl who was quick to point out she’d have sex with him that night if he wanted it. When he told me this story, I sat in utter awe…geez…are women really that ballsy? Apparently so, but my date didn’t take her up on her offer. He found her slutty. (Good call.)

Now I can’t say every date I’ve been on has been… “Choice” – there was a viral message I sent out about this guy who I went on a hike with on the beach, and the tide came in and well…he thought this was the oceans way of telling him to suck my face off. I couldn’t escape fast enough from that one.

But I’m curious…what bad dates have you been on? I’m always writing about thoughts and theories…and I need to hear more. So bring it on.

Oh…and get out there and meet people. I know we will all find love …it’s what I live for. Cause if there is one thing I know…he’s not in your apartment right now…so get out!